What's in a name ?

I often hear people say that, " What's in a name ? " . Perhaps it's their way of covering up their mistake by offering such a statement over their mistake in addressing you by a wrong name. What is most infuriating is that they refuse to call you by your given name despite your politely requesting them to do so. Many a times, I have encountered such a situation and those people refuse to accept calling you by your name as they don't even seem to find it remotely odd. Instead such people feel that whatever name they choose to call you and your given name are one and the same thing. I actually find that quite rude as well as insulting and I feel that such an attitude spells lack of sensitivity or lack of respect for the other person. After all the best way to acknowledge or greet people is by their names.

Also one should let the other person decide how he or she wants to be addressed by you and what they want to be called. One only allows close ones to call you by your nickname or use other terms of endearments. I always ask people how may I address them as not everyone gives the liberty to you to call them by their nicknames or first names. It is essential to let the other person invite you to address him or her by their nicknames.

 As an ex- Hotelier, it is ingrained in me to make it a point to address people by their names and making sure that I pronounce and spell names correctly. We were taught about the significance of addressing people correctly by their given names and titles as part of training. As a Guest Relations Officer, it was my duty to memorise guests' names, birthdays and preferences to add a more personal touch to their visits. After all everyone wants to be acknowledged  and be made to feel that you respect them enough to remember their names and pronounce them rightly. Moreover as an individual too I give huge importance to such things as part of etiquette. Once in a while everyone can forget names or not know the correct pronunciation of a certain name but what is important is that we apologise immediately and ensure that we correct such slip ups by asking the person directly about the correct pronunciation of that person's name.  Unintentional mistakes can happen but can always be corrected and the other person would appreciate your genuine effort in going to lengths to refer to him or her correctly.

In the work world or personal life, it is important to be sensitive about how you address people. It certainly enhances your image and leaves a good impression on others. What's in a name ? The answer is a name is everything...A name is an identity of a person and an introduction to others. A name is an introduction to the world about who you are...The right name is required in your passport or at work and then I wonder why is it not given so much of importance in personal life. People may say that " A name is just a name"  but I think without your name you will have no identity. Now that could be both advantageous or disadvantageous in many ways in today's world where you may be judged purely by your last name but we have to live with our names and be proud of it.

A name in a way defines you...You will be robbed of your own identity if you do not give importance to your name or expect the others to do the same. While it may be very romantic to hear as Juliet said that " What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet", I still feel that your name cannot be separated from you even if you separate yourself from it. Your name is sealed in your destiny and is binding on you for life. In Hinduism or Sikhism we feel that changing your name can alter your destiny...and that your name affects your personality in some ways.

There are two conflicting theories to it but as much as I agree that what matters is who you are and not what you are called or known as, I still give importance to a name. Most of us believe that God is one and yet we address God by different names as that is our way of believing that while God may be one, God has different forms. The world addresses Gods by different names as this is our way of forming a personal connection with God by having different terms of endearments. I feel in a similar sort of way, a name is your form too among many in this world as it forms you in a way...A name symbolises you.

Sikkim

Rumtek Monastery

An Afternoon to remember...Rumtek Monastery- By Simrit

Wealth of Emotions vs Material Wealth

A woman has a wealth of emotions and affection to offer and as a home maker she contributes precious moments of her time to raising a family which is never really appreciated truly the way it should be . Material wealth has taken priority over wealth of emotions in relationships lately where a man appreciates a working woman more than a home maker and a woman now is forced to think that the only way she can buy freedom and earn respect is by earning. A lot of women are actually inclined to think that the man in her life will give her real importance when she contributes to his bank account as well as shares the role of bread winner of the family.

While there may be choices and truths involved in such lifestyles, somewhere these are robbing the real essence of relationships where material expectations have risen so high that it steals them of real happiness , trust, security and unconditional love. Somewhere the balance of relationships are getting affected by this change of roles from a home maker to a financially independent wife .

Material expectations are openly discussed very widely before marriages these days and thus this has become a very important matter to be addressed. But such matters are delicate and sometimes very harmful to the relationship in the initial days of marriage where the partners don't know each other that well and  may form rigid opinions about each other in the process. So people have to approach this subject of material expectations and responsibilities very sensibly and tactfully without offending or alienating the other.

It should be merely about choices and not compulsions where men demand women to earn and contribute in paying the bills. It should be about personal choice and letting a woman decide if she wants to work or not . A woman deserves financial independence if she wants to pursue such a life but if she wants to be a homemaker then that too should be accepted,respected and appreciated as well. As it is there are so many options these days for women to work from home as well if a situation demands it and if it becomes absolutely necessary for her to earn.

I believe in financial independence and paying for most of my things but like many other women I would definitely value a man who can provide for me and I will in no way feel threatened or insulted by it. If a man enjoys providing for a woman in a relationship, she should by no way feel that her identity is getting threatened or he is doing a favour to her. A woman after all has the right to be pampered and indulged after all that she gives of herself in different forms in various relationships of her life as a daughter, wife, sister and mother. A man can certainly afford to be generous enough in that respect to provide for her in every way specially as a husband if circumstances permit and a woman chooses to have it that way.