Farewell to a Place called Home

 "A place to call home" is often not easy to find! And often for many, a place they call home cannot be owned just as life cannot be owned. Such is the story of people who have to keep changing homes due to their professions or other reasons. They truly realize the value of a home since they have travelled through different houses to somewhat find it and in that journey they have also discovered the meaning of making themselves at home anywhere in the world. In that journey they have made efforts to find a home only to lose it too but then regain it at another place. What life takes, it gives you back in some ways.  

Each home you have lived in holds tremendous relevance since that place witnesses all your emotions that are hidden from the real world. Each home holds so many warm memories. A place that houses you becomes actually your home when you make it your own by living the way you want to in it and decorating it with some joyful and memorable moments. A place also becomes your home when it protects you from the storms of life . A place becomes your home when it holds you and comforts you  in times of difficulties and distress and yet there comes a time when we must leave that place around which we feel so safe and comfortable.

When the time comes to say farewell to a place that has been your  home, it is never easy as at that time do you actually realize what that home meant to you. You know that you can never come back to it but you are thankful that it was an important part of your life. People who change homes truly live the real journey of life where you have to leave something behind that you hold so dear to go to the next chapter of your life hoping to find it again. People who travel through different homes know what it is to gain only to leave it.

All my life I have lived in different places that felt like home as I come from a military background. On my own the place I have been living in has been my home of three years and this is my third apartment as an independent woman. Each home was different and had it's own characteristics. But each home had its own relevance in my heart because each home saw different phases of my life. Each home represents different parts in the stage of my life.   

The time has come to say farewell... Till we meet again but at a different place in life...Till I find you again at a different place in life...You will house someone else now but I will always be a part of you as once I resided in you...You will always be a part of me because I will always cherish you...

                    

 

There are days when your motivation needs to be restored in your daily life regarding your approach to life. There are times when you require an uplifting of your mood or need to remind yourself of your blessings when you may not be on the winning side in some part of your life. At such times one has to keep one's determination alive and make efforts to believe that there is a purpose in everything in life however tough it might get.

 Watching a Japanese program "The Professionals [Guarding the Road of Life: Ueno Toshio, Traffic Guard]" would inspire you at times like this when you need a dose of inspiration and motivation in abundance. The story of this wonderful senior citizen touched me so deeply and it also provoked various thoughts in me concerning how people are adapting to losing their jobs where they may have been doing better or how very senior citizens are supporting themselves to survive as best as they can in today's world.

As it is Japanese approach to work is commendable and I have always been greatly influenced by it having spent years in Japan as a child and later working there. But seeing this senior citizen's positive approach to work and his ways of adapting to a work life so different from his original position of authority was extremely inspiring. Once he was the President of a company but due to the change of circumstances in his life, he had no choice but to learn to adapt to a job and position totally different from his previous one. Now he works as a traffic guard.

This new job expects him to pour in all his energy and strength but despite his age he makes it work and is on his feet seven hours of the day. He is 84 years old and yet he meets the physical challenges of his work with determination though he admits that he does get tired. This strong gentleman Mr. Ueno works on sunny and rainy days as a traffic guard. Standing at the intersection of roads at such an age to guide traffic can be risky and waving flags to direct the traffic can be exhausting. But he is so dedicated and focused. His professionalism toward his new work is visible in the importance he gives to the details. He waives the flag higher for larger vehicles and lower for smaller vehicles. He greets everyone he encounters on the road while keeping alert to ensure safety for people passing by. Through it all he keeps calm as he believes that calmness is required to make decisions on the roads of life. 

The program portrays an in-depth picture of his life, and I just am so glad that I had an opportunity to be able to watch it. He says that " We have been given the chance to work like we have been given a chance to live".  So, he is grateful for being able to work even though his present job does not share the same status as his previous job where he was on such a high position. He talks about how "pride" had to go away as he was in a position of authority before but now he has to accept the position of a traffic guard. However, he then reflected that this is his only path to survive.

 At the beginning of the program, he says that he does not know the meaning of happiness. In the beginning he felt his motivation to work was money as he needs to make a living to survive and maintain his present living environment. But later he says that gradually during the course of time he develops gratitude as he feels that he has been given a chance to work even at this age. Earlier he had to face endless challenges and insults from the drivers on the road as he was not accustomed to working as a traffic guard but over the time, he made efforts to adjust to it and found motivation to do it and not taking it for granted. 

 At first, he needed money when he took up this job but now, he has found a new meaning in what he is doing and thinks of it of as an atonement for taking his late wife for granted who would do all the housework and take care of their kids while he was busy at work. After her passing away, he realized how he had neglected his wife in his busy work schedule. After her demise, he had to live alone and that is when he realized how his wife had supported him by doing everything at home so that he could focus on his job. He says that reminding himself of all that his wife had done changed his attitude towards his present job. He now finds that bowing to cars and people passing by as a traffic guard as well as apologizing to them for the inconvenience caused is his way of atoning for taking his wife for granted.  

And I feel that this stands true that something mundane or monotonous can become meaningful too if you motivate yourself to realize its meaning or attach a purpose to it.   

He says that he is living on for both of them and he feels that she will decide when he has to go. His job keeps him going now and so his efforts continue. He does not want to take time off from work as he does not want to be alone as he lives alone and there is nobody there with him. He finds that interactions with the people of the community through his work keeps him alive.

So, I think that in this way he has found a connection to his work and an importance in what he is doing. At home too he cooks his wife's favourite dish and places it as offering in front of her photograph. He picks up flowers to place them before the picture of his late wife. 

I feel that this is his way of connecting to his wife and to ease some of his loneliness in this way even though the loneliness of living without his significant other gets to him. It is difficult to live alone and especially when you are used to having someone to share it all your life and yet he appeared to me as someone making huge efforts to continue living his personal and professional life despite the loneliness and the challenges of his age. His motivation and strength to keep going on is amazing. He does all the work at home himself. He eats lunch at a park and takes an afternoon nap there sometimes, but he does not appear to mind that as he is truly appreciating the chance to live and work.

I feel that every opportunity and interaction in life is a learning lesson. Through watching this program, one is reminded again that one has to work at everything and even relationships every day to be able to find happiness and contentment.  

                          

 Food 4 Thought !

One has to go through imperfections to achieve perfection ! To be perfect one has to be imperfect if you know what I mean. One can't be proficient in everything and only  practice makes perfect ! So why be harsh on yourself !? After all mistakes are what makes us learn and instill hope to achieve perfection whereby we work harder to ultimately perfect ourselves in what we are doing.  Not everything can go the way it should be all the time or the way you would like it to be...So don't be hard on yourself and please don't be your worst critic. You are allowed to make mistakes and through it all you also have to  learn not to judge yourself or criticize yourself. Have realistic expectations from yourself  and I say love yourself  since that will bring about the positivity to do and be better. Just give yourself a break ! 

Fiesta De Quinceanera

  

Some months back I watched an interesting program called "Fiesta Quinceanera" on PBS channel. Fiesta De Quinceanera is a celebration of a girl's 15th birthday and her stepping into adulthood. There is music, food and dancing which revolve around a theme at a party. And so naturally the dress of the girl has to be very special and match the theme of her coming of age party. It is celebrated in Mexico as well as Latin communities in America and elsewhere. This event has social and religious significance. 

It was really wonderful to see the heartwarming story of this darling mother who went to lengths to make that event truly special and memorable for her daughter. How a mother celebrates her love for her daughter through this significant occasion is so endearing. Mothers in all cultures are forever so generous and giving. Mothers in any culture would do anything and make great sacrifices to see smiles on the faces of their children. The warmth and affection pouring out of every action of her mother in preparation for the lovely event touched my heart deeply and reminded me of my mother and you would certainly be reminded of the special ways your mother touches your heart too.     

A closure to childhood and welcoming adulthood is what Quinceanera symbolizes.  In sorrows and joys God is there for us and this girl's mother specially tries to restore her daughter's faith in that. I was smiling through the entire program as the interactions between the mother and daughter were so special. Their interactions were even a bit bitter at times but mostly sweet and loving each other all the way in their own way. She wants the party for her daughter that she never had. Mothers want all that they have and all that they could not have for their daughters. In this sense the mothers in all cultures are alike.

The tale of each girl covered in this program was so interesting. Another stitches the dress for her grand daughter. It goes to show that one could make any moment special even without any means. Another family is shown preparing and taking dance lessons together for this special occasion where the girl wants a fusion of both cultures as the theme of her party so as to celebrate where she came from and where she belongs now. Truly family is everything as they would do anything to make your moments special and to capture that smile on your face! 

I think in a way a mother has no nationality or religion as she identifies and recognizes herself only through her children. I feel a mother translates her existence through her children. All the mothers around the world are the same...

This program also reminded me that life is a "fiesta" even in moments of fear and uncertainty. Some of the families don't know when they will see their families because of the situations they are in and yet they put their challenges and complexities of life aside to make that particular moment special for their daughters by pouring their hearts and investing so much in the preparations for that big day. We have so many desires and dreams which can go unfulfilled but the key to make life beautiful is to celebrate moments like this.