Relationships of the Bold & Smart

Instant Coffee Generation / Clueless Generation

Cultures have evolved over centuries whereas generation of today want ‘Instant Coffee Solutions’ in everything from politics to social problems, economic problems and human relationships. Present generation’s next addiction is to instant coffee solutions.

At this pace, they’ll be destroyed from within as they’ve already lost the real foundation of love and goodness that holds a human being in the midst of life…For most of the relationships in this stressed environment, passion withers as time goes by instead of blossoming into something richer and meaningful.

I would like to feel that one always has choices or alternative options suitable to a situation instead of going in the wrong direction in relationships. Or at least it is important to give one’s last shot in dealing with a challenging relationship before giving it up completely or entirely. At least one will not have regrets later about not trying hard enough to save a relationship. But today’s generation wants “Instant Solutions” to fix relationships too and do not realize that changes come gradually and that one has to work at relationships.

Destiny does play a part in breaking relationships. Sometimes clash of personalities, conflicting personalities and cultural differences can make relationships all the more complicated and hard to bear. Sometimes life and circumstances leave no choice but to walk away from a bad relationship because of serious problems. Then one is forced to do so because of circumstances. In such cases,one may not have any choice. But for others there is no excuse for abandoning a relationship...   

Unfortunately, in these modern times relationships have no real and permanent places in peoples' lives as they want to while away time till they find somebody more beneficial to them or they just want to experiment different relationships simultaneously. No wonder they can so easily play with one another’s life and not even feel the slightest bit of remorse or guilt when they break all promises of love and loyalty.

For some, a relationship has become a source of power in the sense that he or she likes to see how far they can rule a person and get that person to do everything for them. Sometimes relationships are of this shade these days where the power of authority rests with one person alone and thus imbalances the relationship between two individuals. Instead of truly being life partners, one person only dictates that relationship and manipulates the spouse endlessly under the threat of separation. This can damage the other person and create a feeling of helplessness and sense of entrapment in the person putting up with it.

Relationships of the Bold and Smart believe in change which means constant change of partners over the time as they get easily bored with one person…Truth and honour have lost it’s meanings in relationships today and nobody seems to obey them anymore.

Today’s generation regards relationships as something that could be given up so easily and so quickly. They fall in love as quickly as they fall out of love. Infact they’re clueless about love…I feel that at times some of them are emotionally challenged…their attitudes cripple them to the extent that they do not want to either commit to anyone at all or they don’t want a long term commitment to start with. Even if they do happen to get involved with anyone, they want to walk out on it soon enough as they can’t face the thought of something so real, where reality expects them to deal with occurrences of challenges in a relationship.

Most of today’s generation can’t handle the truth of real relationships where everything is certainly not a bed of roses… The relationships of the Instant Coffee Generation do not actually honour the truth and vows exchanged between two people in love.

JODHPUR

At the entrance of Mehrangarh Fort, Jodhpur...musicians greet us with traditional music. 

Just a Thought In my Language... 

"मुझे कुछ ऐसा महसूस होता है... 
एक ही इंसान कितने किरदार निभाता है इस छोटी सी ज़िन्दगी में, कभी दुनिया के लिए  कभी अपनों के लिए...
इस सिलसिले में कुछ ऐसा ही पहले भी लिखा है ...  

 बहुत कम इंसान ऐसे हैं जिनको यह जहां  उनके असली चेहरे के साथ कबूल कर ले...  
लोग आपमें वोह देखना चाहते हैं जो उन्हें पसंद है और ना  की वोह जो आप चाहते हैं...

 अक्सर लोग सच नहीं देखना चाहते हैं...
और हम दुनियादारी के लिए या उन्हें बहलाने के लिए , उन्हें वोही दिखलाते हैं जो वोह देखना पसंद करते हैं और यह हकीकत नहीं ...

वक़्त के साथ साथ हम वैसे दिखने लगते हैं जैसे हम है ही नहीं...  हम एक नकाब या मुकुट पहन  लेते हैं...
 ना चाहते हुए या  कभी बिना जाने , हर किसी के लिए शायद एक अलग सा चेहरा होता है ... "

"Mujhe kuch aisa mehsoos hota hai... 
Ek hi insaan kitne kirdaar nibhata hai is chhoti si zindagi me,
kabhi duniya ke liye to kabhi apnon ke liye...
Is silsile me kuch aisa hi pehle bhi likha hai ...

Bahut kam insaan aise hain jinko yeh jahaan unke asli chehre ke saath kabul kar le...
Log aapme woh dekhna chahte hain jo unhe pasand hai aur na ki  woh jo aap chahte hain...

Aksar log sach nahi dekhna chahte hain...
Aur hum duniyadari ke liye ya unhe behlane ke liye, unhe wohi dikhlate hain jo woh dekhna pasand karte hain aur yeh hakeekat nahin... 

Waqt ke saath saath hum waise dikhne lagte hain jaise hum hai hi nahin...
Hum ek nakaab ya mukuth pahan lete hain ...
Na chahte hue ya kabhi bina jaane , har kisi ke liye shayad ek alag sa chehra hota hai..."




(I feel something like this ...
One person plays so many characters in this short life, sometimes for the world and sometimes for his own people...
Have written regarding this earlier on too...


There are very few people whom this world accepts in their true form...
People want to see in you what they want to see or like and not what you like or want to reveal...


Most of the time, people do not want to see the truth...and in order to humour them we show them what they'd like to see in us instead of our true identity and this is not reality...


With time we start appearing and living what we are actually not in reality...
We wear a mask...
Unconsciously and contrary to our liking, we start presenting a different face or picture to everyone...)

JAPANESE TRADITIONAL ARTS

                                                          MASK-'NOH'

‘Noh’ to put it simply is a kind of mask dance. Though the correct definition would be that Noh is a kind of music theatre in which the leading actor is adorned with costume of silk and a wooden mask.

Noh masks are lacquered wooden masks that depict characters like an old man, an old woman, a ghost or a divine figure. Noh masks as they’re known to the outside world are very expensive.Somebody gifted us one of these masks once in Tokyo and I was really attracted to the calm expression that mask depicted.

 Noh involves music (‘utai’) as well as musical accompaniment i.e. ‘hayashi’. But it is also accompanied by dances. Singing, dance and music unite with the dialogues in telling a story in Noh. Whenever I look at masks I am reminded of our lives.

Life is a stage… I feel all are wearing masks and pretend to be someone else. All wear different masks for different people. A person is forced to play different characters and has various masks-one for the work environment, one for personal life etc.

According to me, what's dangerous is when people get so absorbed in playing their parts or characters that they forget themselves and actually start believing in being what they are playing or pretending to be…They actually lose their true identity then. It is sad that their true self can never be revealed like this...As time goes by the mask becomes you. You also become a mirror then...as in you start reflecting others. You show people what they want to see in you...In a way you start entertaining them...This is when you have to stop...

There are some who have the courage to show their true self but are not accepted... The world does not have the courage to accept such people for their true self. The world always wants you to play a part or act…In the process, enacting a character leads you to actually become that character…

LADAKH
(The Buddhist Trail)
Shanti Stupa
Shanti Stupa , Leh from a distance....Built by a Japanese Buddhist Organization to symbolize World Peace...It enshrines statues of Buddha...

Shanti Stupa, Leh... night view 

TEA CULTURE

Different Tea Cultures & Ceremonies

CULTURAL DIPLOMACY THROUGH TEA

Another way of interpreting culture is through tea ceremony and brewing of tea. There are different tea cultures and tea ceremonies in the world. In the village in Mie, I started the process of connecting with people through tea parties.

 In my first month, I realized that the only way to break the ice and bridge cultural differences would be by inviting people over for tea. My informal tea parties became quite famous and by the end of my tenure there, my team teachers also started preferring to discuss lesson plans over a piping hot cup of tea with some delicious chocolate cookies.

In Chicago as well, my mother and I encouraged cultural interaction between people and demonstrated fine traits of cultural diplomacy at it’s best over endless cups of tea. Tea parties are the best way to connect closely with people and understand them and their tea culture. The relaxed atmosphere combined with the rich aroma of hot tea somehow makes people feel at ease and erases the reservations one may have had with each other in terms of culture or related to work. Something as simple as tea brings people closer.

Whenever I’m travelling, I always carry tea bags, sugar and dairy whitener with me along with some mouth-watering goodies like chocolate brownies. I host small tea parties wherever I travel to. A conversation over a cup of tea makes the trip more interesting and enhances one’s knowledge about other cultures. This helps to weave a beautiful friendship with people I meet on my journey.  Sometimes I am offered tea at the shops I visit when I'm travelling. Tea really works wonders... 

From the JET Conferences in Tokyo to the visit to Ladakh and Rajasthan, tea has helped me to convert the initial formalities into long lasting friendships. A tea ceremony also provides a platter of knowledge regarding culture. It deepens cultural interpretation too. Such is the power of tea. Tea ceremony gives an insight in to the culture and the different tastes as well as methods of making tea and tea ceremony customs. Every week I’d readily accept invitation to a Japanese Tea Ceremony. It introduced me to various Japanese Tea Ceremony etiquettes. I learnt a lot about their culture through the formal tea ceremony where ladies dressed in kimonos would get together to perform the traditional elaborate ritual. In the beginning, I did feel a bit intimidated by the formality of the tea ceremony and was afraid that I may not remember the sequence in performing this ceremony….But gradually I started enjoying the quietness in which the Japanese Tea Ceremony was conducted and the various etiquettes it included. I actually started looking forward to the serenity of the atmosphere the Japanese tea ceremony offered in the form of the sound of boiling water or the quiet conversation and whispering that accompanied it while waiting for the tea to be brewed. Such occasions helped me bond with people and gave me an opportunity to inform them about my culture too.The tea ceremony proved to be the best way for effective cultural interaction.  

 I still fondly remember the time when the Principal of the School and I would have interesting long conversations on both cultures over green tea. That was the best way to promote cultural exchange. The other foreign teachers from nearby villages and I would also normally enjoy endless cultural talks over tea. In winter, we’d also add more charm to our small, intimate tea parties by sitting under the cosy blanket of a ‘kotatsu’ table ( a table with an electric heater attached underneath it and a quilt over it that surrounds all sides) while sipping Indian or Japanese tea with spicy hot French toasts.