Life may surprise you most of the times. Some of us love surprises as long as they are pleasant ones while some of us don't want any surprises at all. But obviously in life we have no choice in the matter .

We  always hope to be pleasantly surprised but sometimes life offers us unpleasant surprises. Unpleasant surprises are unwanted as we are caught off balance and we don't know how to deal with them. But time helps us to find the hidden strength in us to meet the challenges and cope with the unpleasantness. When there is no way out the only way we know then is to find a way to battle the unpleasant circumstances and come out of it somehow...It may take long but we manage to survive many bitter moments and this is a sign of living. Life forces and teaches us how to survive as long as we are breathing...

We often may possess reserves of inner strength and courage and we may not be aware of it till time makes it's move. In problems and in crisis do we come in contact with our true self. In the most difficult times, gradually time prepares us to finally accept things the way they are even if we keep resisting or expressing opposition to the turn of events and bad circumstances.I have always noticed that when the storm of shock,denial and tears have passed, then comes acceptance...That is how nature tunes us I guess. There will be times when your heart will be heavy with pain and bitterness about how life may have treated you, yet somewhere with it comes acceptance of those events too. In time we learn to accept things we cannot change...

The best known first two verses of  Serenity Prayer state- " God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can and the
Wisdom to know the difference. "

We have heard of wedding vows and everyone gives a lot of importance to the words of the vows they take only to misplace it somewhere in time during the course of life...Most of the vows are similar. It is so important to actually feel and mean what you say...It is important to try to follow what one promises to another person however hard it may be. Just recently I heard someone say on TV that when you show someone a dream of a lifetime together it is your responsibility to protect that dream and not let it break.

Words have value only if they are truly meant from the heart or they just remain words...A lot of people promise a lot of things just to break their word later. A lot of people say a lot of beautiful words at the time of their wedding perhaps because the situation demands it or romance calls for it.

Wedding vows are important and have their own beauty...But I would like to believe that there is something called Pre-Wedding vows too which lays down a strong foundation for the wedding vows that follow it. According to me, Pre -wedding vows should be more demonstrative and not merely remain words so that the vows taken on your wedding day blossom from them and straight from your heart. Promises should be made to each other in the knowing process or the dating period before the marriage. There are pre-wedding events, pre-wedding rehearsals and pre-wedding counseling and there should be pre-wedding vows as well.

It is essential for two people to interact with each other and get to know each other well before they set a wedding date. In conservative cultures couples may not be allowed to interact with each other freely before their wedding but today's world calls for two people to get to know each other well before getting married even in the case of an arranged marriage. This time in getting to know each other will enlighten them about each other and how well they relate. Such time together also shows them whether they are prepared to accept an entire life with each other. That's when these pre- marital vows play their part...As part of the vow, the couple should promise to stand by each other in life's decision making and challenges...A couple should vow to be there for each other in the tests of life, in doubts and misunderstandings because as it was said by one of the ladies in the movie " Barfi" , a long silence between a couple can silence the love...A vow should be taken to keep their connection alive even in their differences of opinions and arguments because once the communication is lost, a relationship is lost. A fair argument is also some form of communication. It is better than being silent with each other because of the fear of offending each other. Withholding and hiding things from each other can damage the relationship gradually. A pre wedding vow should also include the promise that they would be no secrets...A long silence between two people in love creates a wide gap between them. The threads of love that once connected them slowly break with the strength of the winds of separation each day during that silence .

 One should appreciate the chance to be together instead of losing that one chance to time. Whatever questions life may present the pair, they should promise to stand united in solving them and getting past their misunderstandings. There has to be honesty , trust and a sincere desire to be with each other between them to start with to deal with what life has to offer them in the future.

A promise should be made to be willing to share almost everything with each other in terms of their past, present and future. A couple must be willing to reveal everything about themselves to each other to invite trust and confidence in each other.  Pre- marital vows should be taken seriously and should be lived and fulfilled. The fulfillment of these vows reflects in the time the couple takes time to know each other before the wedding date. The completion of these vows will be visible in small things...When a couple has proved the willingness to stand by these promises before they get married will they actually live the vows taken on their wedding day in the days that follow their wedding. Actions speak louder than words and the sealing of these promises would naturally be visible in the times they interact with each other. The music of a relationship should keep playing through the notes of expression,emotions,sensitivity, understanding,love, acceptance and mutual respect to begin with even if the songs may be unpleasant sometimes till the time you perfect it. Once the musical record of a relationship breaks, it will be broken forever and will never play the same way again even if you try fixing it...It may not be possible to revive the beauty of a special relationship  when it is ruined by endless misunderstandings, lies and mind games. A relationship is actually quite fragile and it can vanish in an instant leaving behind  tears and heartache.  So promise each other to create a beautiful melody in life and live by it. The fulfillment of the  pre-wedding vows would add a magical touch to the day when you finally promise each other your lives before everyone.

The Dark Hours of Crisis

Once again Nature strikes and it's fury is evident in the massive disaster caused by the floods and landslides in Uttarakhand. It is severely heartbreaking to hear about the loss of so many lives . What is most devastating is to hear people relate their horrific stories about how they helplessly saw their closed ones being swept away by the strength of these floods . So many are still missing or waiting to be rescued. Some survivors struggled to survive in nearby forests till they were rescued only to be robbed and beaten by gangs of robbers who had crossed over from the border. It is sad to see how certain people can take undue advantage of those in misery. Fortunately these gangs have been caught now as our soldiers had been air dropped in these jungles to locate survivors.

In this crisis the Army and Air-Force are doing everything in their power to help and rescue people. Private organizations and local people are providing all the support and assistance to aid the rescued victims and their relatives...It is inspiring to see how common people are uniting to assist without any governmental support. In times of crisis people either come together to tackle and combat  the challenges or they fall apart. But in this disaster, ordinary people have demonstrated immense sensitivity ,incredible courage and humanity in helping out those affected by these floods and landslides. News channels have showed how people are setting food camps for the rescued victims and their families who have gone to receive them.

This recent calamity brings back bitter memories of the floods in Ladakh.We may not be able to fight the inevitable and we may not be able to match the fury of the natural calamities. But time and again we are reminded that while we may not be able to contradict the decision of such calamities ,we can at least find ways to decrease the disastrous effects of such calamities. What is needed is more effective and organized disaster management by the government. It is also important  to receive almost accurate weather predictions beforehand to warn people to some extent.

Pilgrimage sites and religious  destinations which attract large number of people every year should be untouched by too much modernization in the form of illegal construction of many hotels along the river  to attract tourists. Lately these religious places are attracting more tourists than pilgrims.  The damage of such a calamity can be reduced if  unplanned construction, river bed mining and cutting of trees are prohibited . There should be restrictions on the number of pilgrims visiting the religious site at one time in a day so that not many gather there at the same time as this may result in more loss of human lives when such calamities strike. Pilgrims should be distributed in groups and they should allow only a certain number of groups a day. As it is overcrowded temples often witness stampede. People should not be allowed to extend their stay for too many days after their  visit to the temple or shrine.The idea is to visit the Temples to worship and not to spend an entire vacation there. Since these areas are not accessible easily, all the more necessary measures and precautions have to be taken to protect the safety of the people living there who have to face natural calamities time and again.

The  weather forecasts have to be taken seriously too before planning trips. Rest is upto the will of God and Fate. But still we must take precautions. It costs nothing to take precautions. I feel that unlike other countries, some of us here do not give importance to weather forecasts. We actually don't follow it as regularly as we should.

When I was working in Japan, I was always advised to take the weather forecast seriously and consult it before going anywhere. My office used to warn me about typhoon much before so that I could stalk up my place with food and water beforehand as the typhoon restricted any movement and paralyzed life. The news channels there would give such weather warnings many hours before the typhoon would hit our area and keep updating us periodically. Also we were kept informed about the direction and course of the typhoon. Sometimes Tsunami alerts were sent out instantly and we were always informed by our local governments about the evacuation points.

It is said that the request by the meteorological department for a Doppler weather radar for Uttarakhand has been denied time and again by the government . Uttarakhand has witnessed  floods very often and something has to be done to issue timely weather warnings in those areas.

In this darkest hour of crisis , the people of India stand united in helping each other without any strong governmental support. It is surprising that many demonstrated their indifference to this crisis by not providing any humanitarian aid or assistance in the beginning. The  politicians and nations are gradually coming forward to provide some support now but it has to be said that their responses are delayed . It is the Army and Air-Force who reacted instantly to salvage so many lives. The resolute strength of the Army and Air-Force and their continuous efforts day and night to deal with the damage caused by these floods as well as courage to rescue so many can never be forgotten. Without their prompt action, thousands of lives could not have been saved.They have air-dropped food,medicines and drinks in unreachable area of Uttarakhand and Himachal Pradesh till the time they are able to reach them to evacuate them. They have risked their lives for others as always and are determined to save each and every life.

 In recent years the Armed Forces have shouldered most of the responsibility outside their job description  in reaching out to the people in internal crisis than the government or Police Force. It is time that we assist them so that they could concentrate more on our external security. It is time that people and specially volunteers are given training in dealing with disasters with the supervision of the military. Many countries make military training compulsory for a few years. Perhaps that is what is needed in our country as well.

Our prayers are with the victims of this floods and their families. And our prayers and respect are also with those who are leaving no stones unturned to save so many lives day and night.  The soldiers are carrying out evacuations by foot and their contribution to rescue so many lives will always be remembered in times to come. People are so grateful to our Army , Army Aviation and the Air Force. The ITBP and NDRF has done it's bit too and has contributed in saving many lives.  Without the Army and Air Force rescue operations on such a wide scale would not have been possible. They have actually considered this disaster as a very severe natural disaster and have carried out rescue and evacuation operations accordingly to combat the great damage caused by this tragedy.

There are still so many stranded in inaccessible areas and we pray that God gives them the will and strength to survive till they are rescued. Our heartfelt condolences to the families of the people who have lost their lives in this tragedy and our deep respect and condolences to the families of the courageous men of our Forces who have sacrificed their lives in these risky rescue operations. May their souls rest in peace.

It is often said that this too shall pass but the sadness of this tragedy will always remain with us...

Life is a Circus...

Yesterday I watched the movie " Mera Naam Joker ". It is a famous movie of the legendary actor Raj Kapoor. Raj Kapoor movies have been widely acclaimed everywhere in the world specially in Russia. A lot of people who met me abroad always associated India with Raj Kapoor. His movies have touched many hearts till date.

  I was deeply touched too by the movie.  A joker or a clown laughs in all circumstances...What may come, what may go he always laughs...He suppresses his tears to make other's laugh. A joker is always an entertainer. He believes that the show must go on. But behind the smile of the joker hides deep sadness.

It is true that whatever may happen in life ,the show must go on. That is what life demands from us.So many times I have thought about how people continue to live even after losses and heartbreaks. They do so because life only has place for those who move forward as the play of life doesn't stop at one point.Such is life ! People are compelled by life to move ahead despite the tears and sadness.

In this movie " Mera Naam Joker" too, Raju states that Life is a circus and there are three stages in life- Childhood, Youth and Old age.

His first love is his teacher who is very sensitive and caring towards him. His second love is a Russian girl who is caring and loving but countries and cultures divide them.  His third love needs him and in that need develops caring. But she gives up everything in their journey together for new things and that brings about differences of thoughts in their  relationship because she is driven solely by ambition. It is sad go see how Raju always gives his heart for it to be only returned back to him. Every time he presents a toy joker to whomever he gives his heart to as the joker represents him...But the ladies in his life always return it back to him eventually just to move forward without him.Everybody in his life comes to just leave him in the end.

And that is what Raju the joker believes that nothing belongs to nobody in life as everything gets taken away from everyone at one time or another...It is true nothing in life can be contained. Nothing lasts forever be it human being or relationships.

The song " Jeena yahan Marna yahan" is a beautiful song from this movie which means that We live here, We die here...in the circus of life.

What is inspiring about Raju's character is that he remains a real joker all his life...true to himself as very early in age he decides to become a joker to spread happiness in all's life. He gives himself completely to others only to lose them and yet he always wishes them well. Even in his tears he gives happiness to others.He has a big heart and is always giving by spreading happiness in everyone's lives even if his heart breaks. But a person who is a giver always loses something...

I feel that somewhere we all have a joker in us as we know that without entertaining people around us we will be left alone. It is true life is a circus as whatever may happen in your life, people expect you to remain happy all the time as nobody has time for tears. If you cry, you cry alone...If you laugh, everyone will laugh with you.

Tomorrow we may not be here to entertain but some others will replace us in life to entertain in the circus of life as the show has to go on. Performers come and go...Life remains the same.

In the world of materialism people are losing the meaning of emotions as they have no time for it. Thoughts are absent somewhere... Emails are replacing hand written letters...Handmade cards have given way to readymade ones and we are living on borrowed words as well as borrowed thoughts...Gifts are bought keeping in mind mostly designer labels and price tags even though sometimes they may not be all that appealing or tasteful. Today the  value of a gift is measured by it's cost...

I personally like a thoughtful gift than an expensive gift most of the time though I always appreciate all types of gifts. Of course gifts could be both thoughtful as well as expensive as long as there are true feelings behind it. Actually the thought behind a gift matters the most and not the cost.

A gift should never be judged by it's size or cost...The emotion behind a small inexpensive gift can be actually more valuable than anything as long as it is given from the heart.  Sensitivity must be demonstrated in giving and receiving gifts...There should be a personal touch in giving gifts and deep appreciation must be expressed in receiving...People always tell me that they enjoy giving me presents as they feel that I genuinely appreciate whatever they give me and I always demonstrate the joy of receiving them  through words of appreciation. I also make it a point to wear or use anything a person gifts me to show my sincere appreciation to them. It is always nice to make someone's day. Everyone needs to feel special. There should be happiness and pleasure involved in giving and receiving gifts...Never forget to compliment somebody on their choice of gift for you !

~Yeh Dil~

                                                      Yeh Dil

Kismat (Kismet) ka kehna maan bhi lein toh Dil toh kuch aur hi chahega...

Duniya ke dastoor (dastur) ke  saamne sar jhukha bhi lein toh Dil ka toh alag farhmaan hoga...Dil ka toh alag faysla hoga...

Dil par toh kiska zor nahin. Dil ki toh apni marzi hai...

Dil ka bhi to haq hai ki woh apni manmaani kare chahe rok le zamane ke faysle  ise...


                                             This Heart

Even if one listens to what fate or destiny  says,the Heart will always desire something else...

Even if one bows ones's head before the norms or customs of the world, the order of the Heart will be different...the decision of the Heart will be different...

Nobody can have a way with the heart,it has it's own will...

The Heart too has the right to do and act as it pleases even if the decisions of the society may try to stop it...

~Rehmat-

Rehmat Hai un par jinhe khwaab ke muqammal  hone ki khushnaseebi mile...

Warna aise bhi hain jo is jannat ki manzil ki talaash  mein sari zindagi bitaa dete hain par phir bhi mehroom ho jaate hain iski roshini se...

Phir bhi  woh is ek pal ko haasil karne ki koshish mein qaim rehete hain...

Samet lo in muqammal khushiyon ke lamhe aur sajaa do inme Yaadon ki khushbu...

Abaad kar lo zindagi ko chaen ke lamhon ke rangon se, jise waqt se karz par liye hain...

Jab tak hai inayat, bhar lo jholi ek ek haseen pal se...

Na jaane phir kab  taqdeer dastak de aur maang le apne diye hue lamhon ko...

Blessings are on those who are fortunate enough to see the completion or fulfillment of their dreams...

Else there are others who spend their entire lifetime in search of the destination of such a heaven...but are still deprived from the brightness of it .( i.e.  the brightness of the happiness of the completion of dreams which feels like heaven on earth ) 

Still they continue to live trying to get or obtain this moment...( i.e.  the moment where they will experience the joy of witnessing the fulfillment of their dreams)

Therefore gather these complete moments of happiness and decorate them with laughter or smiles and fill in them the fragrance of memories...

Enrich life with the Colours of Moments of Peace which we have taken on loan from Time...

Till there are blessings, fill the bag of your life with each beautiful moment...

One never knows when Destiny may knock and ask you to return those moments it has given you...