However much you may love someone, do not let them break your self-esteem, lower your self respect,take you for granted or impose rigid ultimatums on you. Do not let them walk all over you or convince you to believe things about you that you are not.

All have imperfections, weaknesses and have outbursts at sometime or another as we all are human. If someone constantly puts you down by telling you that you are the only one who is quick to lose temper or you snap out easily, tell them that they do so too as these reactions are situation based at times. Of course it is not good to lose temper easily or be totally out of control but sometimes it is natural as the other person may be provoking you beyond your limits and your retaliation to it at the time is just a temporary strong reaction. As it is the other person may be bringing out the worst in you. In the world of Body Language this is called " Mirrroring " . The term refers to a behaviour where you imitate another person in gestures, expressions, words and attitude without being aware of it while interacting with that person. You behave the way a person behaves with you. Some bring out the best in you every time and inspire as well as motivate you. While there are others who bring out the worst side in you. It is important to trust and understand the other person in a relationship if you want it to be reciprocated. Then only will two people feel a mutual connection. In any case one must maintain one's dignity and try hard not to make it a habit to react strongly and harshly so easily just because the other person is behaving badly.

But a relationship or love that cannot overcome obstacles of repeated insults,misunderstandings, threats, ultimatums, blackmails, scenes and fights is really not a relationship or love anymore....A relationship may start out as a love story but over the years it may either blossom or turn bitter. One has to continuously work at a relationship and not take each other for granted. Where there is no mutual respect or trust, the love dies...

There are various reasons two people are together- some because of continuous love and respect, some because of the love they once shared or some living on the hope that some day the same love they once shared will re-visit them and some stay together as a compromise for the kids. Whatever the reason, the journey of love or the journey of a lifetime together should be mostly pleasant. You cannot base a relationship on the love  it once originated from even though now it may be lost...You cannot just sit and hope it will get better. You cannot base a relationship on a fake love that you feel actually exists as that is not healthy because you may be in a state of denial...Most important you cannot base a relationship on a one sided love...

Both partners have to meet each other half way without any demands and conditions. Both have to be flexible, sensitive and adaptable to each other.  Both have to give their best in terms of love, acceptance and sensitivity. The connection would be strong and there would be contentment if both make visible attempts in adapting well to each other. Love is not a mere word, it is a feeling best expressed through actions even in silence.

" Give the best in terms of warmth,love,acceptance and sensitivity...By adapting well to a person or  a culture that person or culture will embrace you too...That is the first step to a proper connection. "
                                                               -Simrit

Ornaments of an Indian Bride

Kaleeras of a North-Indian Bride

Kaleeras are worn by a North Indian bride. The dome shaped bells or ornaments are very important for a bride....Kaleeras are tied on bangles of the bride by her sisters and friends to wish her luck in her new life ahead. The kaleeras also represent the number of close female friends and sisters of the bride. They are made of silver, metal or rosewood. They come in various designs...They are worn on both wrists.

Kaleeras are what a bridal bouquet is to a Christian bride. A bride hits kaleeras against each other over the heads of unmarried girls to shower them with blessings and the kaleeras that fall on a girl's head means that she will get married next...These beautiful kaleeras were chosen by my mother for her niece and they are made with velvet and beads too. The bride has designs made on her hands with Mehndi ( Henna ) on her hands as well...

" If you try hard enough, you can achieve just about anything though patience,discipline,strength of mind and faith are required. Never give up even in the  most trying time as your time will also arrive someday..."
                                                                                       -Simrit

Traditional Japanese Dolls

While living in Mie- ken I learnt more about Traditional Japanese Dolls. We have a collection of traditional Japanese dolls at our home. They were presented to us by a close friend and ex- Defencare Attaché of Japan to India in the 80s. But I got an opportunity to study about them when I was teaching in Mie. Most of my seniors there knew the art of making traditional dolls. It was an honour to receive their hand made dolls as gifts. I possess Ichimatsu and Kimekomi dolls...As a child in Tokyo, some of my friends also made paper dolls for me which again is an art form by itself. Kimekomi dolls date back to Edo period and to put it simply are made of cloth and wood. Ki means tree/ wood and mekomi refers to the technique of the tucking of the fabric...Traditional Japanese dolls represent children,warriors and ladies in kimono...They are used in the Dolls Festival- Hina Matsuri and as gifts to friends and family. Ichimatsu dolls represent little boys and girls.They were presented by Japan to the United States  in the Friendship Doll Exchange in the 1920s. I will share the picture of these dolls another time...

Traditional Japanese Dolls Handmade by a friend Ezaki San  in Mie-ken

                                              FAITH

Every person, country or religion follows faith...Faith is important. However different our cultures may be or whatever religion we may follow, faith lives in most of us. It unites people and brings them together .

One can have immense faith in God or a person. It is essential to have faith in something to give life more purpose and meaning. Faith can be placed in a person, place or thing...We visit places of worship because we have faith that we can find peace there and feel the divine presence of God around us. Sometimes we worship some person because we love that person the same way we love God i.e. without conditions. Faith is in fact born from love to start with and it continues to grow strong in time with trust...

Usually Faith is at it's strongest when we receive and feel we are not let down by God or a person and the same Faith is fragile in storms of anger or betrayal. But faith in anything ought to be unconditional...

Faith resides where there is trust ...Trust and honesty attract faith in a relationship and are the two strong pillars of any relationship. When faith is lost in God or a person,everything is lost. Then a sense of direction is lost. Lack of faith can prove to be quite destructive as then we have nothing to turn to in life or get strength from in trying and difficult times. Prayer offered to the Gods in different faiths or faith in a person give us immense strength. In faith do we learn to bow our heads before God or a person we love and respect. 

I feel that no matter how long it takes or how hard it may be, there comes a time when it becomes absolutely necessary to restore one's faith in a person you love or any God you worship to maintain peace and contentment in life. Basically life is simple when we can unconditionally hold our faith in life's decisions and changes however opposed we may be to it to start with. Faith however misplaced it may be at times because of unfulfilled expectations or circumstances has to win in the end. Faith brings hope...

In silence do we find truth about love....?

Sometimes a beautiful relationship may be torn forever...It may be damaged because of repeated doubts,mistrust,disappointments and conflicts but the hearts of two people may silently desire to want to mend the beautiful fabric of the relationship which was once embroidered with love,trust,respect and understanding.

Sometimes a couple may feel that everything has ended in their relationship  but their hearts continue to feel for each other greatly...Their hearts don't cease to believe in each other somewhere and they end up waiting for each other at all times as their powerful connection does not die even in adversity. And that endless wait for each other without expression of words can divide them further forever as most of the time lack of communication and absence of accurate interpretation can harm a relationship severely specially if they are not well -versed in reading silence.

In the face of obstacles of doubts and fears, they may not be able to express clearly but their hearts want to say so much...At such times one needs to be able to read in between the silence...As difficult as it may be two people should be able to feel the love they have for each other and not seek it entirely in words and actions. Love can sometimes be silent but it still exists anyway in every way possible and it's intensity has to be felt some way or the other...But the subject of silence cannot be translated by everyone.

Not always can people comprehend the language of silence. All the more such people should try hard not to allow the desert of silence enter their relationship which creates this endless distance between them or they will be lost to each other forever. In silence we may find love but it is hidden from many who cannot unveil it every time...