" Omiyage"

 In Japanese culture, "omiyage" holds a lot of importance. One is required as part of social etiquette to bring back gifts for one's friends, family and colleagues from a place that you visited on a personal or work related trip. One generally gets these beautifully wrapped gifts that specially represent the place you visited. For people at work it could be some sweets or other famous food items particularly from the place of visit which have been equisitely packed. In India too we follow thattcustom but more so with friends and family. But in Japan one has to maintain that formality and etiquette of gift giving at work place too. One can find omiyage shops easily at various places in Japan and even at shops in subway stations or airports for last minute gifts shopping. They are already so finely packed that one does not have to bother about gift wrapping.

As a Japan exchange teacher, I always carried back gifts from my country for my friends, neighbours and colleagues so as to make it known to them that I appreciated them and they were in my thoughts on my trip away from them. In fact even when joining work for the first time , I carried small gifts for my bosses and neighbours as part of introducing myself and my country to them. The gifts could be small but what matters is the thought behind it and the warm gesture. I would take Indian handicrafts items , accessories, Indian teas, silk scarves or sweets for people .  I would try to carry back small gifts for all my team teachers in Japan and all my colleagues later in Napa Valley in States though in States it is really not required to do so specially at work. Nevertheless I enjoy giving gifts ! But sometimes because of baggage restrictions on an international trip,  it is advisable to carry something big or collective that everybody could share instead of individual gifts. It could simply be a big box of local sweets or a box of famous tea or something that everyone could share at work. 

Gift giving or gift exchanging is an integral part of Japanese culture. And it is equally important as to how you present those gifts and how you receive them with appreciation. There are a lot of etiquettes involved and I just love that !

On another note it is also important to say that not everyone can acquire the art of gift giving and gift receiving in the most thoughtful way as it is not that simple as one thinks in certain cultures. Many things have to be carefully considered and wisely selected even when buying gifts specially in dealing with certain nationalities particularly in the Diplomatic community. It requires great cultural sensitivity too. For example in certain cultures some numbers and colours are considered inauspicious on certain occassions. So one has to keep all that in mind when picking up gifts or the way you give it. We shall get into that later at another time ! For now just enjoy the pleasure of gift giving and gift receiving ! It is the thoughts behind it that counts after all !              

Bullying has to stop ! No more bullying !

 

NHK is doing a good job in supporting the cause of "anti-bullying" by covering  short real life stories  in between their programs. They show short stories of people from all around the world who have actually experienced bullying and narrate what they went through or how deeply it affected them . At the same time these people also inform how they addressed the issue of bullying and how that changed their lives for the better. 

Bullying at schools, colleges or work is unacceptable. In fact bullying in any environment or relationship should not be accepted at all ! One has no right to mistreat or humiliate another ! 

As a student, teacher and later as a manager in a work environment, I always ensured that nobody was being bullied. Bullying at work can create a very hostile environment too. I always motivated my students and later work team to be sensitive, considerate and empathetic at all times through long discussions and giving examples . Bullying someone can destroy that person's life in more ways you can imagine. Bullying someone can break that person beyond repair at times. It can have such a long lasting and deep rooted negative impact on the person who is on the receiving end. It can powerfully affect a person's personality and performance. That is why it is absolutely important to protect and stand up for people who are being bullied. 

There are different forms and methods of bullying that an individual or group of people can adopt. An individual or a group of people can bully someone and target that person constantly. They can bully someone because of their race and how they dress too at work as well. I feel that most bullies are people who are actually complexed and insecure about themselves and that is why they derive such sadistic pleasure, power and confidence through intimidating others. In a way in being intimidated by others do they intimidate others if that makes some sense. It is important to explore why bullies are the way they are to be able to effectively change them into better versions of themselves. I used to have long one on one discussions with students who would bully other students just to study the root cause of such behaviour in order to deal with it effectively so that they won't ever repeat it. And that somehow worked wonderfully and I would see visible positive changes in them thereafter and change of behaviour for the better.       

Joy in small things

 Finding joy in small things in your daily life is so important since it inspires you in so many ways...

In Japanese culture, there is importance and appreciation of sounds and colours of seasons. One finds tranquility in attending a Japanese tea ceremony where the simple sound of pouring tea or whisking tea gives peace. It is a kind of meditation in itself where one connects deeply with the sounds hidden in silence. It is as if silence speaks...

The changing colours of the leaves throughout various seasons and the beautifully abundant trees of cherry blossoms remind you of the wonders of nature and instill hope in you for beautiful things to come. I thoroughly enjoyed my stay in Japan where everybody in everyday life gave importance to nature. They are very creative people and it reflects in the way the way they wrap gifts (origata) or fold paper (origami). Their creativity reflects in the delicate and beautiful decorations and display of their food which tries to include different colours of nature or shapes of flowers too. I just love the way they find great meaning in simple things of life everyday. 

My grandmother was like that too in the sense she found joy in everything she did everyday however mundane it may have been. She celebrated life in it's simplistic ways and yet converted each moment into such special moments with her zest for life and love for the family. Like the Japanese people she was quite ritualistic too as well as celebrated each season of life by adapting that to her food and decorations. I follow her footsteps and try to find joy in everything that I do and every moment I live. 

Today when I hear that people find it difficult to be at home, I find it strangely surprising because I was taught to appreciate and enjoy being at home. I was taught to find art in all that I do at home be it in cooking or decorating a home.

To make life pleasurable we must find beauty and solace in our homes specially now where the outside life is holding so much stress. It is at home and it is in the everyday routine at home must we find joy, peace and contentment more so now when we are supposed to remain mostly at home during the times of health crisis. At your home can you find peace and joy if you really look for it. At your home can you find solace. In the month of thanksgiving, let's be grateful for all that we have. And let's demonstrate that gratitude towards the universe and feel that gratitude endlessly by making genuine efforts to find joy in everything that surrounds you however challenging life may get...  

I was watching a program on TV regarding the new definition of air travel in COVID-19 times. It was impressive to see how strict measures are being adopted to make our air journeys safe and secure. Some countries have started touch less elevators too at their airports which is good. It goes without saying how drastically our lives have changed in such dangerous times. We are forced to keep distance from each other to protect all's health...
In times of physical and social distancing, we are having limited interactions with people naturally. In times of lockdown we are isolating ourselves as absolutely essential and in a way we are keeping ourselves isolated from each other. It is difficult to stay in touch with each other except on the phone or through Internet. While lockdowns and stay at home practices must be observed, it is making it enormously difficult for some to be there for each other in times of need and illness. What is highly unfortunate is that some are not even able to say their last farewell to a loved one because of ban of travel in certain places.
These are such challenging and difficult times for all in so many ways. People are heavily impacted by professional, personal and financial loses because of this pandemic. Lives are altered and lives are impacted seriously. On top of it , not being able to access each other easily or not being able to stay in touch is making lives increasingly complicated.
We may not be able to stay in touch with each other all the time now but it is absolutely essential all the more to stay in touch with oneself in these times. Stay in touch with your strengths in crisis. One must not feel alone even in isolation. One must not feel weak even when others are not able to be there for you in person to support you during these times. It is important to rely on yourself and your strengths. One must remember not to lock oneself from yourself even in these new times of isolation from others. Find peace within yourself...
In these times of of lockdowns and "touch less interactions" a lot is bound to change but that does not mean you lose touch with yourself. Find connection with yourself even when alone to remain strong. Stay in touch with yourself always! The path may be rough and tough but be strong ! The path may be lonely and devoid of meaningful human interactions but you are not alone as everybody is going through the same experiences. The entire world is united in facing the same challenges and problems at this time. Find solace in the fact that many are there who can relate and understand your struggles at such a time. So in a way we all are in touch with each other in a way as all are facing this together. 

In a time that is so filled with immense suffering worldwide...In a time that is highly challenging health wise we all must come together to protect each other from this deadly coronavirus by strictly maintaining social distancing, wearing masks and obeying the rules concerning lockdowns.
We all need to stand together in this most difficult times to try to save each other by doing what is best for everyone to keep as many safe and healthy. By accepting the norms of lockdown or following the orders of shelter in place in this worldwide health crisis we will also be contributing in saving lives in our own way. Everybody from the doctors to the police as well as other essential workers are doing their best to be there for everyone and so we too must do our bit too by staying at home in this lockdown as advised because as of today another's life really depends on you. By wearing masks we are protecting not only ourselves but others too... We must act responsibly and cautiously in such dark and dangerous times...
At such a time of very tragic losses of life, I have been at a loss for words because I feel nothing can define the pain and suffering so many are enduring around the world...So I have just not been in the mood to write anything concerning corona virus till now...I felt inclined to address this subject today because I feel that so many are defying the rules of lockdown or not observing shelter in place orders which are so required for the sake of safeguarding the health of so many. We all are in this together fighting a common enemy which is taking so many lives and greatly affecting all in many ways. At such a time it is important that we do not lose dignity, kindness, hope and generosity.
These are such trying times that it seems almost impossible to harbour any hopes that things may change for the better immediately. Yet we must have faith...faith in hope.Things will change. Things will get better. This too shall pass but sadly after paying an exorbitant price of losing so many precious lives around the world and that is just so unfair ! Nothing in life is constant...there will be change. Till then particularly we have to learn to be there for each other. We have to think about others and ensure that all precautions are taken to try ensuring that everyone around you remains safe and untouched by this virus and for that we must follow all the protocols of a lockdown. By following the rules regarding lockdown, we will be successful in avoiding or atleast minimizing the spread of this virus in our communities.
It may be difficult for some to give up their lifestyles, outings or daily routines that they all may be accustomed to during the period of lockdowns and shelter in place but this is something we must absolutely sacrifice to effectively battle this disease which has consumed and destroyed so many lives personally, professionally and economically. As said earlier each life is dependant on another at this time. Save lives and save yourselves by acting very responsibly and maturely at this time !
Life is a circle...And we are in a circle today where we each should be holding each other's hands in a way and supporting each other against the deadly force of this disease in order to combat this disease in every way possible and not let it win at all ! This disease has forced our lives to pause and come to a standstill...We must co operate in stopping it from spreading further ! We must stop it from defeating us ! So let's unite in dealing with this worldwide health crisis by maintaining social distancing and hygiene. Let's unite in this time of health crisis by wearing masks as advised and follow the rules of lockdowns and shelter in place. We may feel crushed but we are not defeated ! Our lives may be severely threatened and disrupted by this health crisis but we will need to deal with this in the best way possible. Immediate victory may not be possible but gradually and by moving cautiously even after normal lives resume , we would emerge victorious as long as we strictly observe what is required from us at this time. We shall overcome this...It is our duty to ourselves, others or to our nations to stand together and stand for each other during such challenging times !

 I think...
 I wonder why there is so much intolerance prevalent in this world...

Now you would think that I am speaking about "religious intolerance" but I am not thinking about that entirely. You see intolerance comes in so many forms. Intolerance for each other could thrive amongst people even within the same community or family. Today there is more intolerance for each other than before within the same community or in a working environment for that matter. People are not willing to adapt to each other that easily and accept each other with differences in thoughts, beliefs and culture. People are not willing to accept those who speak a different language or dress differently.

I always believe that it is so important to embrace each other with all our differences and that is how uniquely beautiful and deep relationships and interactions should be. It costs nothing to be kind ! It costs nothing to be empathetic ! It costs nothing to be sensitive and generous to each other !

You can be different in every way from each other and yet you could embrace each other ! For me that is truly when the process of cultural exchange and the exchange of knowledge happens. We learn and grow much in the journey of each others' differences. Through respectful and appreciative exploration of each other can we discover and learn. Such explorations can make us better people. And yet people do not understand the value of communication and interaction to discover each other to resolve differences. People fear the unknown and something that is different and in that fear deprive themselves of gaining knowledge of each other.    

I wish the world was a perfect place and I'm not the only one...
"You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one..." This song by John Lennon speaks volumes.
There are many like us who still believe that this world could be a better place if we wanted it to be. There are many like us who have faith that this world is good. There are many like us who are still giving this world and people around us chances to become good. Some may call such people idealists or philosophical ! But so be it ! Such people truly still see goodness and kindness in this world at a time where it is so needed when we are living in the difficult and dark times of great intolerance towards each other which brews resentment, conflicts and riots. There is endless discrimination, racism and hatred which stems from basic intolerance of each other. If people could just be tolerant of each other...

Amidst such thoughts I came across a movie on Netflix which echoed so many of my long time thoughts and I connected so deeply with some of the emotions, thoughts and expressions in this movie. The name of the movie is " A Billion Colour Story". It is a very brilliant and thought provoking movie. Stories of intolerance for differences in faiths, differences in lifestyles and differences in thoughts are so skillfully portrayed and at such a level where one could relate to it closely as one may have experienced that at one time or another in life or one may have seen it happening around us.

 Like life this story has different colours both bright and dark. Yet this movie weaves a beautiful, sensitive and heartwarming story around a child of idealistic interfaith parents in the challenging setting of an intolerant and insensitive world. This child's interpretation of it all adds more depth to the story. In fact it could be at times a question of identity for a child brought up by parents of two religions even though his parents give him the best of two cultures and allow him to be who he wants to be. Yet it is sometimes the two families on either sides or mostly the world that makes him feel that he is different. I too have two religions and I celebrate Christmas too having studied in a Christian school. I am Hindu and a Sikh. My parents as well as grand parents also brought us up in a way where we were taught to celebrate and respect different identities and faiths. In fact religion was never ever an issue  at our house. I was allowed to be who I wanted to be and yet sometimes at one time or the other it were the people around us who questioned my identity specially since like the child in this movie my first name and surname would attract curiosity in the most hilarious manner. I could relate to some of the situations this child experienced when some of his relatives on either sides oddly viewed him because he was culturally different from each side or how protective he would become about his parents which was far more than other children whose parents may share the same religion.        

The movie shows how the intolerance at various levels can complicate our daily lives be it in simply finding a home to live or in differences of lifestyles. One actor rightly says in this movie that today everyone is against everyone and is not just limited to religion. I believe that as well that today basically there is intolerance between people to people.  

"A Billion Colour Story" is actually a story of the hearts of billions who still have faith in goodness despite the negativity of some. The story moved me greatly ! And the child's role played by the talented young man Dhruva Padmakumar is breathtakingly brilliant ! I don't think anyone else could have played the role as perfect as him. I have become his die-hard fan ! He complemented the role in ever way possible and translated the emotions of the character beautifully and blended it with such fine expressions.

In fact all the actors were wonderful and the credit naturally goes to the director and the writer too. I was so touched by the way the relationship of father and son was depicted. The never ending path of difficulties they faced through financial crisis and intolerance strengthened their relationship even more and brought them only closer. What was impressive was that their identities and beliefs never shook even when provoked or challenged by people or circumstances. The father never gave up faith that the world is good. The son's love, thoughtfulness and sensitivity resounds till the end of the movie and after that in our hearts. My interpretation of the movie is that despite tragedies and bad happenings a billion people out there are still very much coloured in the shades of goodness even if they have different identities. There were still a billion people out there who were willing to restore the family's faith in goodness. Intolerance exists in many parts of the world but there are still people out there who support each other and are empathetic to each other...There is still hope for the world that it would survive the worst ! And if all children could be raised to be as thoughtful and sensitive as the child in this story, they would grow up to positively contribute and give so much to this world. Lessons begin at home and children must be taught to be adapt to others who may be different from them. Then only can we stand united even in differences...                               

CHOOSE 2 B HAPPY EACH DAY !

Happiness is a choice...


Happiness is a choice you make to enhance your life and surround it with positivity. And I try my best to make that choice everyday. You can choose to be happy and contented by finding joy in simple things.


Simple things like listening to music, singing aloud, dancing, cooking, nature walks, reading,  interactions with people specially babies or simply enjoying a cup of piping hot chocolate with marshmallow floating in it as I am doing right now as I write can bring such joy and surround you with serenity.


We have forgotten to notice small things in our day to day lives as the world has become so fast paced and demanding. And so all the more we have to set aside some alone time however short it may be to spend with oneself to enjoy and do all the things that we like.


Life may continue to be moody and life may continue to challenge you but it cannot crush you or defeat you unless you allow it to. Let life do what it is known for. Let life be unpredictable and ruthless...But you should not be hard on yourself. Give yourself a break to feel nice and give yourself some time to do things that you enjoy doing to feel good about yourself and everything ! Your living room could be a fancy restaurant or your living room could be a karaoke place. What I mean is that you don't have to really spend money to be happy. You can have what you want or where you want to be where you are by just creating that mood. In such things one can really take inspiration from kids as to how contented they are and how they create a beautiful world of their own with their innocence and belief. One can also be inspired by actors as to how they immerse themselves in the role they are portraying to make it look real. In the sense fake it till you make it...Even if you are not happy fake it till you believe it and you will actually start becoming happy gradually in due course of time. In other words on those not so good days pretend to be happy if you have to just so that gradually you ease into the role of being happy. As someone important once told me that gradually you ease into everything however unknown and strange it may seem at first. But it definitely takes some time and work.


You can be who you want to be ! You can be who you would like to be ! You can go places and you can go to places !  It is just a matter of time.  You just have to give it time...At the end of it, it is your choices for yourself that matters the most...You have to be fair on yourself and treat yourself right. You have to be there for yourself when others aren't. Rely on yourself and believe in hope and your strengths. Don't let life wear you down.


Life may give you enough reasons to be unhappy. Life may try you and test you but do not let it get to you. You hold the power...you hold the power to overcome anything. You hold the power to heal yourself . You have the choice to heal yourself however broken you may be even though that could take long and may not be easy. But still you can do all these things for yourself instead of giving in to being bullied by circumstances and situations in life. As I always believe that when the going gets tough the tough get going !


There will be heartbreaks, disappointments and losses. Life will not treat you royally all the time. But you must take care of yourself through those rough and difficult times when all is lost instead of giving up. Feel and process your emotions however deep...cry if you feel like but don't give up. It was very sad to read about some celebrities tragically ending their lives as they could not handle the pressures and burdens of lives . I wonder what could have brought them to that edge of life's cliff...Unfortunately at that time for some odd reason this may have appeared to be the only choice for them but this is definitely not the right choice at all ! Tragically such lives ended because of wrong reasons taken under pressure. It is sad that those wonderful lives could not be saved and they crumbled under the weight of their problems . It is so tragic to hear that often lives are threatened as they cannot bear the harsh expectations of society . But always remember that famous line "Tomorrow is another Day ! ".  Live to try again ! Live to fight another battle of life however hard it may be. Your life is very precious ! One always has a choice to start over, to turn over...Even in your difficulties and troubles save a smile or two for yourself and others ! One has a choice to be happy if one actually pursues it and tries to believe in it ... You just have to work at it and continuously motivate yourself to feel positive.


Nobody can save you but you ! Know that power is within you and you will have the strength to survive and persevere...Your determination to continue walking in the face of difficulties and challenges should not fade at all...Your determination to maintain your balance in the storm of trials and tribulations should not waver...  

Napa Valley