California

 California Evenings

Dubai-A trip to remember long after !

 

San Jose, C.A., United States

Moitozo Park, San Jose 

A park that I love and where I used to spend many afternoons.

 

Santa Clara, California, United States

 An afternoon to remember ! A lovely restaurant in Santa Clara Square. The ambience, food and customer service is wonderful ! The sea food there is so delicious.  A must visit if you are ever there. Pacific Catch has an outdoor patio dining arrangement too and the bar opens out into the patio which made me feel as if I am on a vacation at an exotic destination.

https://pacificcatch.com/locations/santaclara/

University of California,Berkeley

 

Farewell to a Place called Home

 "A place to call home" is often not easy to find! And often for many, a place they call home cannot be owned just as life cannot be owned. Such is the story of people who have to keep changing homes due to their professions or other reasons. They truly realize the value of a home since they have travelled through different houses to somewhat find it and in that journey they have also discovered the meaning of making themselves at home anywhere in the world. In that journey they have made efforts to find a home only to lose it too but then regain it at another place. What life takes, it gives you back in some ways.  

Each home you have lived in holds tremendous relevance since that place witnesses all your emotions that are hidden from the real world. Each home holds so many warm memories. A place that houses you becomes actually your home when you make it your own by living the way you want to in it and decorating it with some joyful and memorable moments. A place also becomes your home when it protects you from the storms of life . A place becomes your home when it holds you and comforts you  in times of difficulties and distress and yet there comes a time when we must leave that place around which we feel so safe and comfortable.

When the time comes to say farewell to a place that has been your  home, it is never easy as at that time do you actually realize what that home meant to you. You know that you can never come back to it but you are thankful that it was an important part of your life. People who change homes truly live the real journey of life where you have to leave something behind that you hold so dear to go to the next chapter of your life hoping to find it again. People who travel through different homes know what it is to gain only to leave it.

All my life I have lived in different places that felt like home as I come from a military background. On my own the place I have been living in has been my home of three years and this is my third apartment as an independent woman. Each home was different and had it's own characteristics. But each home had its own relevance in my heart because each home saw different phases of my life. Each home represents different parts in the stage of my life.   

The time has come to say farewell... Till we meet again but at a different place in life...Till I find you again at a different place in life...You will house someone else now but I will always be a part of you as once I resided in you...You will always be a part of me because I will always cherish you...

                    

 

There are days when your motivation needs to be restored in your daily life regarding your approach to life. There are times when you require an uplifting of your mood or need to remind yourself of your blessings when you may not be on the winning side in some part of your life. At such times one has to keep one's determination alive and make efforts to believe that there is a purpose in everything in life however tough it might get.

 Watching a Japanese program "The Professionals [Guarding the Road of Life: Ueno Toshio, Traffic Guard]" would inspire you at times like this when you need a dose of inspiration and motivation in abundance. The story of this wonderful senior citizen touched me so deeply and it also provoked various thoughts in me concerning how people are adapting to losing their jobs where they may have been doing better or how very senior citizens are supporting themselves to survive as best as they can in today's world.

As it is Japanese approach to work is commendable and I have always been greatly influenced by it having spent years in Japan as a child and later working there. But seeing this senior citizen's positive approach to work and his ways of adapting to a work life so different from his original position of authority was extremely inspiring. Once he was the President of a company but due to the change of circumstances in his life, he had no choice but to learn to adapt to a job and position totally different from his previous one. Now he works as a traffic guard.

This new job expects him to pour in all his energy and strength but despite his age he makes it work and is on his feet seven hours of the day. He is 84 years old and yet he meets the physical challenges of his work with determination though he admits that he does get tired. This strong gentleman Mr. Ueno works on sunny and rainy days as a traffic guard. Standing at the intersection of roads at such an age to guide traffic can be risky and waving flags to direct the traffic can be exhausting. But he is so dedicated and focused. His professionalism toward his new work is visible in the importance he gives to the details. He waives the flag higher for larger vehicles and lower for smaller vehicles. He greets everyone he encounters on the road while keeping alert to ensure safety for people passing by. Through it all he keeps calm as he believes that calmness is required to make decisions on the roads of life. 

The program portrays an in-depth picture of his life, and I just am so glad that I had an opportunity to be able to watch it. He says that " We have been given the chance to work like we have been given a chance to live".  So, he is grateful for being able to work even though his present job does not share the same status as his previous job where he was on such a high position. He talks about how "pride" had to go away as he was in a position of authority before but now he has to accept the position of a traffic guard. However, he then reflected that this is his only path to survive.

 At the beginning of the program, he says that he does not know the meaning of happiness. In the beginning he felt his motivation to work was money as he needs to make a living to survive and maintain his present living environment. But later he says that gradually during the course of time he develops gratitude as he feels that he has been given a chance to work even at this age. Earlier he had to face endless challenges and insults from the drivers on the road as he was not accustomed to working as a traffic guard but over the time, he made efforts to adjust to it and found motivation to do it and not taking it for granted. 

 At first, he needed money when he took up this job but now, he has found a new meaning in what he is doing and thinks of it of as an atonement for taking his late wife for granted who would do all the housework and take care of their kids while he was busy at work. After her passing away, he realized how he had neglected his wife in his busy work schedule. After her demise, he had to live alone and that is when he realized how his wife had supported him by doing everything at home so that he could focus on his job. He says that reminding himself of all that his wife had done changed his attitude towards his present job. He now finds that bowing to cars and people passing by as a traffic guard as well as apologizing to them for the inconvenience caused is his way of atoning for taking his wife for granted.  

And I feel that this stands true that something mundane or monotonous can become meaningful too if you motivate yourself to realize its meaning or attach a purpose to it.   

He says that he is living on for both of them and he feels that she will decide when he has to go. His job keeps him going now and so his efforts continue. He does not want to take time off from work as he does not want to be alone as he lives alone and there is nobody there with him. He finds that interactions with the people of the community through his work keeps him alive.

So, I think that in this way he has found a connection to his work and an importance in what he is doing. At home too he cooks his wife's favourite dish and places it as offering in front of her photograph. He picks up flowers to place them before the picture of his late wife. 

I feel that this is his way of connecting to his wife and to ease some of his loneliness in this way even though the loneliness of living without his significant other gets to him. It is difficult to live alone and especially when you are used to having someone to share it all your life and yet he appeared to me as someone making huge efforts to continue living his personal and professional life despite the loneliness and the challenges of his age. His motivation and strength to keep going on is amazing. He does all the work at home himself. He eats lunch at a park and takes an afternoon nap there sometimes, but he does not appear to mind that as he is truly appreciating the chance to live and work.

I feel that every opportunity and interaction in life is a learning lesson. Through watching this program, one is reminded again that one has to work at everything and even relationships every day to be able to find happiness and contentment.  

                          

 Food 4 Thought !

One has to go through imperfections to achieve perfection ! To be perfect one has to be imperfect if you know what I mean. One can't be proficient in everything and only  practice makes perfect ! So why be harsh on yourself !? After all mistakes are what makes us learn and instill hope to achieve perfection whereby we work harder to ultimately perfect ourselves in what we are doing.  Not everything can go the way it should be all the time or the way you would like it to be...So don't be hard on yourself and please don't be your worst critic. You are allowed to make mistakes and through it all you also have to  learn not to judge yourself or criticize yourself. Have realistic expectations from yourself  and I say love yourself  since that will bring about the positivity to do and be better. Just give yourself a break ! 

Fiesta De Quinceanera

  

Some months back I watched an interesting program called "Fiesta Quinceanera" on PBS channel. Fiesta De Quinceanera is a celebration of a girl's 15th birthday and her stepping into adulthood. There is music, food and dancing which revolve around a theme at a party. And so naturally the dress of the girl has to be very special and match the theme of her coming of age party. It is celebrated in Mexico as well as Latin communities in America and elsewhere. This event has social and religious significance. 

It was really wonderful to see the heartwarming story of this darling mother who went to lengths to make that event truly special and memorable for her daughter. How a mother celebrates her love for her daughter through this significant occasion is so endearing. Mothers in all cultures are forever so generous and giving. Mothers in any culture would do anything and make great sacrifices to see smiles on the faces of their children. The warmth and affection pouring out of every action of her mother in preparation for the lovely event touched my heart deeply and reminded me of my mother and you would certainly be reminded of the special ways your mother touches your heart too.     

A closure to childhood and welcoming adulthood is what Quinceanera symbolizes.  In sorrows and joys God is there for us and this girl's mother specially tries to restore her daughter's faith in that. I was smiling through the entire program as the interactions between the mother and daughter were so special. Their interactions were even a bit bitter at times but mostly sweet and loving each other all the way in their own way. She wants the party for her daughter that she never had. Mothers want all that they have and all that they could not have for their daughters. In this sense the mothers in all cultures are alike.

The tale of each girl covered in this program was so interesting. Another stitches the dress for her grand daughter. It goes to show that one could make any moment special even without any means. Another family is shown preparing and taking dance lessons together for this special occasion where the girl wants a fusion of both cultures as the theme of her party so as to celebrate where she came from and where she belongs now. Truly family is everything as they would do anything to make your moments special and to capture that smile on your face! 

I think in a way a mother has no nationality or religion as she identifies and recognizes herself only through her children. I feel a mother translates her existence through her children. All the mothers around the world are the same...

This program also reminded me that life is a "fiesta" even in moments of fear and uncertainty. Some of the families don't know when they will see their families because of the situations they are in and yet they put their challenges and complexities of life aside to make that particular moment special for their daughters by pouring their hearts and investing so much in the preparations for that big day. We have so many desires and dreams which can go unfulfilled but the key to make life beautiful is to celebrate moments like this.

Sahel Rosa: A War Orphan's Journey (NHK World-Japan Documentary)

  

The journey of a war orphan Sahel Rosa is a documentary on NHK World Prime that all should watch. The journey of Sahel Rosa and her foster mother Flora who moved from Iran to Japan touched me deeply. And I wanted to share my impressions with all. A real-life story of the deep bond shared by a mother and child who are not related by blood but share a bond that is deeper than any other connections of blood. An inspiring and true story of a sense of belonging, sacrifice, struggle and overcoming of every difficulty that life presents them with. The creation and growth of a beautiful everlasting bond that gives them strength and faith while discovering the meaning of life in each other and with each other.

Sahel Rosa is someone who has gone through so many difficulties in life and yet she has retained her child like innocence, kindness and sensitivity. She has held her belief in life despite still trying to follow a path of self-discovery and searching a sense of belonging in a foreign country which is now her home of many years. Her immense warmth. generosity and sense of giving make her so special. In her loneliness too she keeps building herself through being there for others and truly giving back to the world by helping them out.  

Life may not be a bed of roses but Flora tried to create a bed of roses for Sahel since the time she embraced her in life. According to her, the name she gave her means a sand shore of roses even though roses don't bloom there. Everything in her home resonates that. There are flower motifs on the walls and curtains as well as the clock.  She has spread the fragrance of love in her adopted daughter's life and raised her to spread that fragrance of caring in the entire world. She has added meaning and significance to her adopted daughter's life by embracing her as her own and in the process making numerous personal sacrifices. She chose not to have her own child because she wanted to be a mother to this little girl she discovered. It was as if fate meant them to find a home in each other. Not everyone can wholeheartedly commit their life that easily to a child that does not belong to them, but Flora demonstrated that relationships can be born without blood too and can be thicker than blood too which makes one believe how important it is to share your life with a child who is lost and alone in this world. You can be that much needed anchor for a lonely child. You can be that direction. A foster parent can also cultivate a very beautiful and a much deeper connection with a child. 

In the extreme hardships of being without a home in a country alien to them too, they kept recreating and building themselves...What could have made them very bitter only enhanced the sweetness of their kindness and freshness of their goodness. It reminds us that life can be so unfair and continues to test good people. Their challenges may be continuing with Rosa falling sick but even then, they are living with hope in the beautiful garden of roses they have created on the desert of life. The garden of roses they created at their place of residence would always be a true representation of their lives. The hardships of childhood and bullying in school did not defeat her even though one can imagine the scars and impressions that it could leave on a child's mind. The war that took away her parents could not diminish her. She is still true to her roots and identity despite living in a foreign country where her home is now.

Her journey with her foster mother in a country unknown to them at first is filled with so many challenges and yet that story of their life offers inspiration to those who could be facing similar circumstances and are working hard on surviving all that is dark and difficult in their lives. 

As I say "Jinsei wa fukuzatsu...Demo tsuzuite iku shika nai !"  [ From Japanese-English: Life is complicated/complex...There is no choice but to keep going on]

 

"Omamoris" are good luck charms that are often sold at Buddhist and Shinto shrines in Japan. They are prayers on a small piece of wood, paper or cloth that are then wrapped in small brocade bags. They have omamoris for everything and they are believed to protect you from so many things. Their significance is somewhat the same as that of "tabeez/taweez" or "kavach" in India or other countries which too are believed to protect from evil eye and come in the form of lockets, armulets and protective shields. Omamoris are colourful as well as attractive ! A must buy gift when visiting shrines ! 

Food For Thought !

 

Cooking can sometimes cook stories! Cooking can invite stories revolving around the origin of the dishes. It is so creative to be able to create something in just a matter of few minutes. The magic of cooking is that it uplifts and relaxes you. 

 In the taste of certain cooking can you find relishing moments that are bygone. I had watched "Bun Maska" on Netflix some months back. It was a nice movie with a touching note. It reminded me that in taste can you find lost moments. And in places reside memories so vivid. This movie gave importance to legacy and tradition.

Every time I cook I am taken back to such happy and special moments spent with family and specially grandparents. Certain aromas remind me of wonderful times that I cherish till date. Being away from home certain aromas bring me closer to home. The tastes of certain dishes can really remind you of your mother or grandmothers. Once I had cooked something that so reminded my brother of my mother's cooking. Naturally being a daughter I cook the same way as my mother. I always say that sons may inherit the name of the family but daughters inherit the taste ("swad") of the home they were brought up in which is something so deep and precious that she takes with her to another home.

Food can make you quite philosophical too since it evokes certain thoughts, emotions and ideas in you. Something as simple as everyday traditional cooking can be food for thought!   Cooking can inspire me to write since I am very relaxed then and have time to reflect while waiting for the culmination of the ingredients to form a delicious dish. That's when my thoughts wander and the various sounds and aromas of the cooking create this world of thoughts for me where I get inspired to compare life to the experiences of the methods of cooking since I like to draw deep comparisons between many a things.

The other day while frying onions for a dish called biryani my thought was- When life fries you, you fry onions! Really such thoughts can make you feel somewhat better as they are therapeutic in some ways. The crackling sound of the onions in sizzling hot oil is a sound that I like since it relaxes me because it reminds me of home when onions used to be fried in the kitchen for biryani. Hence it is a comfort zone of sorts for me and the same goes with baking. I was actually thinking that after being deep-fried or shallow fried, onions can be used to enhance the flavour of so many dishes from biryani to burgers. The same way when life fries you, you can then adapt to every taste of life bitter and sweet !                 

 

 Not always does someone who can afford luxury can afford manners...

Together we can deal with it- Stuck in this together

 

STUCK TOGETHER is a film that I watched tonight on Netflix which is as it says in the end is for all those who have suffered  and dedicated to human solidarity. It revolves around peoples' lives during pandemic and their different ways of coping with it. The movie revolves around the residents of a certain building during pandemic lockdown and their journey to adjusting with one another and the new life. The movies has the base of a serious subject namely the world health crisis we are faced with and it addresses the two different stances taken by people in their responses to lockdown as well as their adapting to the new health threat in the world while blending it with a certain lightness of humour.It ends on a note of care and warmth for each other . 

Everybody's response to the health crisis is so different and that is visible in our daily lives. It appears as if people have just chosen two different sides but the important thing to remember that we all are actually on the same side on this as we are in this together. Or at least some sort of balance is necessary because we are "stuck together" in this. While both sides may differ and not relate to each other because of their conflicting views on how to respond to the health crisis that is threatening the world, what can bind them together are respect, sensitivity and humanity. Excess of anything can harm and effect relations particularly at this time since everybody is dealing with a lot of pressure right now and yet it is also necessary to respect the protocols and precautions in times of pandemic to protect each other. The common goal should be to be there for each other and protect each other through this.      

Kindness is all the more needed in these trying times when everyone is going through so much. Kindness could make life beautiful for all around you and including you. A kind word or a kind gesture goes a long way to help people not feel isolated in these times. People have to support each other and be a source of strength to each other right now as we are stuck in this together and battling an invisible threat. I can feel and see that kindness being demonstrated more around me as of late even amongst strangers these days as if everyone in their silent way is trying to be there for each other. We must keep doing that to help each other get through these times of challenges and heartbreaks caused by the pandemic. Life is already difficult but make it simple for each other...  

 

The art of giving and receiving gifts in Japanese culture

 

 An important part of Japanese culture and tradition is  the art of giving gifts and receiving gifts It involves deep sensitivity and appreciation. The gift ("omiyage") giving and gift receiving involves etiquettes. The way it is handed over to the person to the way it is received matters. I learnt that there was a certain respectful way to give gifts in Japan by bowing and giving a person a gift with both hands while saying " Tsumaranai mono desu ga, douzo... " (This is nothing much or nothing special but please accept it or this is but something trivial but please ). In a way the person who is giving the gift is politely and humbly requesting the other person to accept it. It is a humble way of presenting a gift or putting forward a gift before someone. The gift may be valuable but one has to portray that it may not be that valuable or my interpretation is that the gift is not as valuable as that person whom the gift is meant. That is a way of giving more respect to the person the gift is meant for.

The gift should be accepted with both hands and a bow too. This is how one demonstrates gratitude for the the honour you have received from the other person in terms of the effort and thought behind the gift. Therefore both sides honour and respect each other in a way.  

["douzo' could mean 'here you are" too in such a sentence but it can pass off as "please" too. "Onegai shimasu"  also means please. " Onegai itashimasu" is the honorific form ] 

The way a present or gift is given is more important than the gift. The body language and the tone of voice add to it. Gifts must be received with much appreciation and compliments must be showered. That is the best way to acknowledge and accept a gift. A gift must be received with grace to truly appreciate the person who is giving you the gift. 

Exchanging gifts happens throughout the year and entails a lot of formalities. The way a gift is wrapped also matters as each fold of the  gift wrapping  paper matters and how it is folded. It is an art. The beautiful and intricate Japanese art of gift wrapping is called 'origata'. It entails some rules in the way mainly the traditional Japanese paper (" washi") is folded or for that matter any gift wrapping paper these days. My interpretation is that each fold represents the beautiful emotion, valuable time, great effort and admirable patience in preparing a gift for someone and therefore it is highly refined and artistic.     

The art of giving and receiving gift has to be acquired by people who attach materialism to gifts as it does not come naturally to them since this requires deep sentiments and sensitivity for another person. I think you don't win and honour people by merely gifts but you win them by the act of respect, kindness and sensitivity in the process of giving and receiving gifts ! And you show a person much respect when you can demonstrate that you have a place for that person's gift in your heart. It is always nice to demonstrate and that you will use a gift and not pass it on to someone. Giving and taking is two way process that involves caring...   

Today I watched "Design Talks Plus" on NHK World Japan. It was such a pleasure to see the creative and artistic creations of Japanese architects and designers. Japanese are known for utilizing space correctly and what I would call is "creating space in limited space" with the way they layout a living space or the way they stack things in a cupboard. Immense creativity is displayed in their original and intelligent designs. It goes to show that we can live with less and live in small spaces in the most splendid ways if we desire to. One can even have the most beautiful garden in a very small space and yet give it the look of vastness and depth by the way we cleverly design it.    

Minimalistic living is important to enjoy the more meaningful things in life as was discussed in the show. Japanese architects showcase their creative projects in houses and furniture. I feel that we often confuse minimalistic decor with minimalistic living. People often buy big houses but on the contrary, choose to have minimalistic decor thinking that it would portray that they are following the actual concept of minimalism. But that does not necessarily bring out the essence or authenticity of minimalism according to me if you truly want to subscribe to the idea of minimalism. As the architect rightly said that instead of expanding, one needs to grow upwards and save on space. Now that has a very deep interpretation for me. My interpretation is that one can live with less but still rise in life by having abundance in your heart even amidst limitations. I wonder what would be your interpretation of what you see in that program. Anything you see in a day or experience every day can have a deep meaning for you and like a work of art can invite different interpretations. 

The importance of reusing things was also discussed and I could closely relate to that as we follow that in our family. Things are handed down from generation to generation. My mother is an interior designer and she believes in giving an honorable place to all the heirlooms and other old things in her house to go hand-in-hand with contemporary things or furniture. One does not have to renounce old things or old ways from time immemorial to embrace new things and this is what I follow in life. It all depends on the right balance and how you blend them with each other. 

I have blended things old and new as well as blended things from different cultures in the way I have decorated my apartment. Not everything is new as I have some antiques or old or used things like furniture at my place but everything matches each other in such a way that you would feel that they were bought together to be meant for each other. But it all depends on how you place things to show unison. In differences too there can be togetherness. I am a cross-cultural consultant and you can find the shades of my thoughts and work resonate in the decor of my house too as I bring together different things bought at different places from different countries. This is what I learned from my parents. It is all the more interesting and fulfilling when you could create a beautiful picture out of things that would normally not be considered to go with each other being from different cultures or different times.       

I feel one could also choose to have a blend of colors or a blend of cultures in the things that you display in your house. I don't strictly follow a particular kind of decor. What matters is how you put things together to make them belong to each other and bring out the beauty in each other even in the small space of an apartment. The idea is to create space within space and that can be a bright one too if you want with the colors and lighting you choose. In these times, most of your time is spent at your own place. You are within your space most of the time during these trying times of the pandemic and so it is required that it should be comfortable and alluring for you so that you don't feel weighed down by being indoors more than before. Within that limited space too, you can easily discover the value of life!      

Together and Forever in my Heart-What life tears, your heart holds...

 

Life is what it is...That is what life is...Such is life!

There is no "forever" in life as much we desire. There is a beginning and an end as we know very well. And what matters is how we live in that journey between a beginning and an end. The short time in between the two pillars of life has to be realized and lived to it's fullest and yet we easily forget that. Time is never enough and time is not everlasting though the memories are eternal when treasured in one's heart. 

In this life, not everyone is fortunate enough to experience a lifetime of love and happiness. Only some have the honour and fortune of sharing years of love and togetherness. This story that touched me today is that of a very beautiful and loving elderly couple whose love grew stronger and deeper with time over the years and how they wished to continue holding hands to pass over to the other world. They did not want to let go of each other even when life's end called on them but life as ruthless as it is chose to take one before the other.

I just watched "My Love-Don't cross that river" on KQED PBS. It was a heartfelt tribute to the precious love of a very aged couple who had a history of 76 years of togetherness in which they grew even closer with time and age despite challenges. They lived in the beautiful countryside of South Korea where they celebrated their love for each other every day through simple gestures and things. They did things for each other and cherished each other in each breath that they had left in them. They cared for each other and took care of each other without any help from anyone. But their intense love for each other made them strong and secure even at that age.  

Watching their moments together was so heartwarming and yet so heartbreaking because one knew that these moments would not last much longer. One wished that there would be no end to their special bond in this lifetime. This real-life story showed their moments together when they enjoyed just being together and celebrating their love as well as affection for each other daily. They enjoyed each and every moment and made the monotony of life and routine work so magical with the much expressed caring for each other. 

They played in the snow and they threw leaves at each other only to show that age had not dulled their enjoyment in being with each other. Their hearts appeared young even though trapped in the bodies of old age. They teased each other even while doing simple household chores which demonstrated their involvement in each other. They were there for each other in every way and helped each other by doing things for each other while holding each others' hands to guide each other.

 It was so wonderful to see that romance was not lost to them even at that age. They lived alone at such an old age with their two dogs and yet they seemed so contented, happy, and peaceful. They appeared to be lost in each other completely! They were living alone but living a life rich in love and every day was so meaningful because of the depth of their connection. They were so absorbed in each other that they actually did not need anybody else or require anything else even though their children and grandchildren visited them occasionally.

Such is true love! It goes to show that love has no boundaries of age...And yet the loving relationship is so painfully tragic when it has to face and endure the separation from the other. And the story speaks to us of their feelings as to how they don't want to part with each other even in death. But even then she prepares for his new journey to the other side as is the custom so that he has all his things with him till she can join him in the other world as she says. That really strikes the chords of our hearts and moves us to tears. I was profoundly sad when it came to the part where the husband is fading away from life and how she desperately clings to hope and prays he would live on for some more months. To see her weeping endlessly in bidding farewell to him in the snow before heading back home alone reminded me that how very lonely she must have felt and yet she had to continue living without him.   

 True love actually transcends age and life...True love lives on eternally in the heart of another's heart as the connection is very deep. True love is a commitment of a lifetime and beyond it. That is what makes it so beautiful but painful too...Such is the love story of a lifetime where one grows and blooms in one's love for each other only to wither in the end. What blooms has to wither as that is the norm of life. And yet it is so difficult to accept that... Your heart holds forever what life tears from you.