A world of thoughts going beyond Cultures... Also includes important cultural experiences...
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- Arts (11)
- Cross-Cultural Talks (10)
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Monday, August 22, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
THE PAST ...
I often hear people say that to move on in life you must forget the Past. And there are some who want to forget their past because they are not proud of it. I don’t believe that as I feel that one can move on in life with your past. One must be proud of one's past as it has been a part of your life. What actually belongs to you is your past as we do not know what the future holds.
The Past is valuable and stands as testimony to the life you have led. Without a Past, a person would be incomplete and life unaccounted for. As a History student , I have studied Past and have always given importance to it. The facts of a nation’s past are preserved and studied. Past always remains, past is always present even if locked in books and time or buried deep in our hearts. We just have to acknowledge it and seal the cracks of the past if any to move on with the present, to have a pleasant Present and look forward to a calm Future. One also has to look back to understand the events in the past or to bid farewell to any unpleasant memories of the past for a better future. If the past has been good to you then all the more we should appreciate it as the Past has made us who we are today. Either way a Past has to be respected and not forgotten. Past whether it is pleasant or not can’t be ignored. One should be proud of the past even if it may have treated you roughly or made you struggle.
Cherish the Past and learn from it …A past can’t touch you. So why do we fear it or run away from it ? A past has it’s own place i.e. in the past or in a time that has already passed. But it sure can haunt you if you run away from it.
If you try to strangle your past you will feel only suffocated and uncomfortable in times to come as it’s a part of you. One can’t erase History. One has to preserve History. We have to remember who we are and where we came from as said in the movie “The Last Samurai”. This also applies to people who are settled abroad away from their home countries. While they may have changed their nationality they still must not forget their origin.
Past is a proof of one’s identity and gives a glimpse of who you really are or for some it stands witness to the fact how far they can go to stand up for what they believe in…The mistakes from the Past stand to be great lessons in life. A Past that may have been painful has to be addressed with time and dealt with thoroughly to be free from it.
Don’t be a slave to your past and don’t let it dictate your present completely but learn from it and don’t be embarrassed about it. By denying your past, you are denying yourself an important part of yourself. Acceptance of your struggles in the past will make you work harder to do well for yourself. Walk into your past, do not abandon it…
Saturday, May 21, 2011
There are two opposite sides or two aspects of marriage...There are two realities of a relationship as life cannot be perfect. These two co-exist like the two opposite but complementary poles of Yin and Yang of Taoist Philosophy or Darkness and Light.
There are two faces of marriage. There is happiness and sadness...It’s alright if the balance is maintained but the day the evil twin takes over the relationship or that side becomes more dominant and only sadness prevails, the marriage becomes a living hell…that’s when the law of love gets violated. At such times the balance of equality would be lost in that relationship and there will be only be disturbance. Everything in life has a Yin and Yang aspect and these two sides survive with each other to create the reality of life. Like many natural dualities a man and woman are also manifestations of Yin and Yang. Whenever one side rules over the other, there will be imbalance and the relationship will disappear.
Sometimes the side you oppose is the most closest to you. So one must not take someone for granted and lose them in bits and pieces in your relationship with them everyday. Just don’t be on the wrong side.
Follow your heart. In a relationship worth saving, don’t give up so easily, so simply. If you feel something is worthy saving, be it your dreams, conscience or relationship fight for it. But in life you have to establish some parameters…There’s no point fighting for a love that is not willing to be saved. I say this as much as I believe in love and commitment.
Marriage should be a new beginning where love should be the important part of both lives. Both should try to give all the happiness in the world to each other emotionally. But if unfortunately that love withers away and has no chance of surviving whatsoever in the darkness of insecurities and distrust or any other reason, then one may just have to walk away from it and make it a decent parting rather than degrade each other every moment and in turn create bitter memories to last for a lifetime.
At such a turn of life the love that held the couple together once turns into pain that embraces them now only to stifle them. All have the right to be respected and honoured in love. One does not deserve to be constantly nagged at and put down or be let down constantly. One doesn’t have to withstand a series of insults and injuries everyday.
At times like this a person cannot always bear things thinking they’ll change or one day you’ll find happiness in that relationship. If you want to be happy then you have to choose that path in life and sometimes embark on it alone unfortunately. Happiness in short is the making of your own choice.
Love is not conditional and it should not ask you to sacrifice self-respect. If one bears it all quietly…one will get only deeply hurt in the soul. In your heart, there should be a place for forgiveness but not at the cost of endless suffering.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
SUMI-E
Sumi-e painting ( Japanese Ink Painting on Rice Paper) The artist is my father
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Painting is a form of meditation. This art form requires immense skill, concentration and discipline. In sumi-e once a stroke is painted it cannot be changed. It reminds me of life in a way where fate and time don't grant you second chances…
Sumiye involves one stroke…can’t have backward strokes. Such is life too as in life too each day cannot be painted again and a moment cannot be revived. So we must live every moment and paint a beautiful memory on that moment as once that moment escapes us, that moment can never be brought back or altered...
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
MEDITATION
Meditation helps maintain peace and tranquillity in life by eliminating stress. It is so important to meditate at least once in a day to keep the right balance and focus in life. It helps in developing a calm and positive attitude towards life. Meditation helps in maintaining a healthy mind.
I have different ways to meditate. At times I concentrate on a favourite oil painting painted by my mother and focus on that. Other times I visualize a place or chant a mantra. Visualization Meditation is even mentioned in the famous Law of Attraction that basically advocates that you attract what you think. You could meditate any way you want. The idea is to relax, absorb the present and free yourself from stress by controlling your mind through meditation. Another method of meditation I have adopted is to concentrate deeply on what I have and focus on that. It is said that Happiness is not having what you want but wanting what you have…Meditation also helps in achieving acceptance, appreciation, contentment and happiness in what you have in your life.
It gives you a sense of power to control the direction of your life through your thoughts. A mind has a mind of it’s own and thoughts dictate words. Everything is a state of mind. The mind readily makes you believe what it wants you to. So all the more your mind has to be tamed and thoughts have to be given a positive channel. Meditation is a discipline and a healthy exercise for your mind.
But meditation only works if you have faith in it. As it is, it is said that faith can work miracles. There are various forms of meditation like Guided Meditation or Self Meditation. Today different types of meditation are practiced. Meditation is widely recognized. I believe that according to scholars, the earliest mention of Meditation is found in the 5000 years old Hindu scriptures. It has been a part of many cultures and is interpreted differently in every culture. In some cultures, meditation is done in the form of chanting and singing or dancing at temples and shrines.
There are different postures in meditation. Sitting Meditation is done in an upright seated position cross-legged on a cushion on the floor. When meditating, your eyes could be closed or open depending on how you want to meditate. You could mediate with your eyes open too by concentrating on some object at a distance and this is a form of meditation that I really like.
The way to meditate is to deeply concentrate on something be it God, a place or thing and focus on it for long. In meditating, you can concentrate on a sound, object, breath or visualization… The correct mode of meditation will divert your mind from everything difficult and stressful. It will release your tired worn out spirit from the daily challenges of modern life.
You could perhaps burn incense or play soft music to create an atmosphere of spirituality around you which will enable you to meditate. Incense burning brings inner peace and fills the mind with inner calm and spirituality. Incenses are therapeutic. They uplift your mood.
Learn to be alone with yourself to explore yourself spiritually and emotionally…to explore your strengths and weaknesses. Meditation helps combat weaknesses of any kind through deep contemplation. By meditating serenity prevails in mind and your mind becomes powerful. In between the silences one finds truth and gets in touch with one’s inner self spiritually.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Japan's Die-Hard Courage in Adversity
Ganbatte Nihon!!! (Good Luck Japan !!!)
The news about the massive earthquake and tsunami in
One can only hope and pray that there is an end to such destructive designs of Nature...Nature reminds us how powerful it is by intimidating us with such force that causes damage beyond comprehension.
I always draw inspiration from
[ Ganbatte or Gambatte means good luck or do your best... Ganbatte is sometimes pronounced as Gambatte or atleast sounds like Gambatte even though the spelling is with a 'n' and not 'm' . In Japanese an 'n' followed by a 'b' sounds closer to 'mb'. ]
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
FRAGRANCES OF CULTURES
Incenses and Candles have always surrounded me wherever I go. I feel that fragrances must be present in a woman's life in different forms. I have a huge collection of fragrances from various cultures. I have incenses from everywhere from Ladakh to Auroville in India . I also have candles, incense cones and incense sticks from Japan and Thailand as well. I love collecting incenses, incense holders and candle stands from all over the world. Fusion of cultures in fragrances creates beautiful aromas around your daily life…Fragrances soothe and heal the mind.
Scented candles come in all colours, shapes and sizes. They’re easy to carry when one is travelling. Candles can be put in attractive and colourful glass containers or can adorn glass, porcelain, brass or copper candle stands at parties. Honey Suckle, Lavender, Rose, Sandal and Lemon are some of my personal favourites in fragrant candles.
The Art of incense is known to many cultures and in some countries they’re used mostly for religious purposes though now people all around the world appreciate the fragrance of incense in their daily lives as well. Incense is appreciated everywhere and has been used in many cultures since ancient times (India , China , Japan , Persia , Greece and Rome) . Incense is used for religious ceremonies, meditation and aromatherapy.
The oldest source on incense is the Vedas. Since time immemorial, the Holy Men or Rishis of India had knowledge of the Art of Incense and used them for various religious and healing purposes. Since the time of Ayurveda, fragrances and perfumes had been part of Indian culture while it was still obscure and not known in other cultures. In Ayurveda, incenses were used to aid healing and thus had medicinal properties.
Charcoal based incense |
Dhoop, Agarbatti (incense sticks) as incenses are referred to in India are handmade and are obtained from nature’s essential oils and prepared from herbs and fragrant woods like sandalwood. India is famous for the most calming Sandalwood incenses which are used a lot in meditation. The most valued Sandalwood comes from Mysore , the State of Karnataka in India . My brother recently gifted me a beautiful white marble lotus shaped incense stand with “Mysore Sandalwood” cones (charcoal based). In India, incenses are used for both religious ceremonies and prayers at home as well as to purify the atmosphere. In ancient India , it was also used when drying one’s hair to leave a soft fragrance in the hair.
Sandalwood Dhoop in Marble incense holder |
Recently I was doing a research on the Art of Incense. As we know, Buddhism originated in India and later when Buddhism spread in China , the Buddhist monks introduced the Art of Incense making to China . There are different forms of incense. For instance “Cored stick incense” (stick incense having a support core of bamboo or sandalwood) is produced in India and China and are sometimes referred to as “joss sticks”. Charcoal incense is also used in India . This type of incense (Dhoop) is mainly used for religious ceremonies and for purification.
“Solid stick incenses” (without supporting core) are commonly produced in Japan and Tibet though they’re used everywhere. This type of incense can be broken into pieces leaving you to choose the amount of incense you want to burn. I picked up some Tibetan solid stick incenses from Ladakh and they’re so therapeutic and enable one to meditate easily with it’s soothing fragrance. Incense Cones were developed in Japan . The Art of Incense in Japan is known as ‘Koh-do’ or Kodo.
A Japanese Incense Stand |
I like ‘Atthar’ too. Attar or Atthar is the purest form of perfumed oil obtained from various flowers, herbs and spices and does not contain chemicals or alcohol. Attars are natural herbal concentrated perfumes. Attar is derived from a Persian word meaning "to smell sweet". They too come in various fragrances like Rose, “ Raat ki Rani” etc. My grandmother used to add attar to her bath for lasting natural fragrance. It is the perfect essence of flowers for a bath. Atthar is usually dabbed on cotton to apply on pulse points.
Our collection of atthars for abroad |
I feel that fragrances from all around the world are the perfect gifts for any woman. While in Japan , I would always carry incenses and fragrant herbal soaps for the other foreign teachers as they were greatly appreciated. Sometimes my friends from Scotland would request me to bring different types of incenses. It is nice to spread fragrance in everyone’s life! Through fragrances I could share the scent of my culture with my friends abroad …Fragrance connects various cultures through history.
Friday, February 18, 2011
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I find it very unrealistic when people say that they can never be sad or pained. Unfortunately, nobody can elude pain or sadness. I feel that nobody can have a “No Complications” life. But, most of the time it’s in our power to heal ourselves with time. No season lasts forever even though they may visit our lives time and again. The leaves of life constantly change colours.
There are Setbacks, Failures, Loses and Disappointments in every life. At such a time one may feel deeply sad or pained. Sometimes people close to us may let us down or hurt us. Yet sometimes in losing we gain…
Crossing over hurts, you have to be willing to suffer a little, push harder to forget sad memories. One can be free of it only once you face the stark reality courageously as hard as it may be. You should not be in a state of denial by pretending that everything is alright as that’s not right and definitely not healthy. One cannot ignore pain. One has to feel it to deal with it.
Sometimes somebody very close to us is lost forever in life or to life. These are loses greater than the loss of something brought about by disappointments and failures. The pain the loss of life brings with it cannot be taken lightly by anyone or dealt with that easily. The kind of pain such a loss brings with it is very different from the above as this kind of pain deeply pierces you and remains within you even in better times. Such a loss can never be filled…At such a time, it is only natural and only human to feel severely anguished and it is important to try not to suppress it. Sadly, life leaves us no choice but to acknowledge and accept such pain whether we like it or not. That’s really the misfortune of being a human being that you can’t evade pain.
But as far as Failures, Setbacks and Disappointments are concerned, don’t ignore them or they’ll return. Don’t run away from them or they’ll overtake you and consume you. It is natural and normal to feel bad and one shouldn’t ever try to conceal it or one will suffer more. The more you run away from problems the more it catches up with you….deal with all problems in the sense that you may want to address them and try to solve them so that they don’t haunt you afterwards…
Don’t accumulate painful memories somewhere deep inside your heart as that’ll make you feel so heavy and highly burdened. You must release them and be free of them by facing them courageously. It may appear difficult at first but it’s just a matter of time when it will not be impossible. You must try as long as it may take. Sometimes it may take very long to be released from a painful experience but what is important is that you take the first step to make things better, to feel better…
The best way to go about it is to process all your painful memories and address the pain one at a time. The important thing is to deal with the painful memories, even feel bad a little, cry a little…In life one has to cry a little as well as laugh a little. No matter how difficult life gets, live it with hope that Spring will one day arrive in your life. Life is beautiful…you’ll find when the shadows of sadness and pain have faded. Walk into fear of pain , don’t fight it .
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Thursday, February 3, 2011
RAJASTHAN
The Cultural Heritage of Rajasthan, India
My trip to Rajasthan was short but truly adventurous and memorable. Rajasthan, the city of Forts and Palaces has been a source of curiosity and wonder to me for years. I often thought how it must have been for the people there to have lived so close to palaces and in the shadows of Royalty for such a long time. Royalty has always fascinated me. There are several stories we’ve heard over the time about " Rani Padmini ", the beautiful Rajput Princess and the great Rajput warriors and Kings like "Maharana Pratap Singh ".
The courageous wars the Rajputs fought are etched in History. But, I find that there is still so much to delve into. There are so many untold stories which envelop Rajasthan in an air of mystery. The barren deserts of Rajasthan stand witness to this rich and colourful history it has inherited.
I was deeply impressed to see that the people there still closely hold the traditional values in their lifestyle and outlook. What astonished me was that women mostly wear ethnic clothes and are still in the sanctuary of ‘ghoonghat’. The world may have moved on but it seems as if they are still stuck in time. Traditions are still enshrined in their culture. I loved the vibrant colours people wear there specially in turbans and veils. The bright colours actually break the monotony of the dry sand dunes and it appears that even in the heat and dust of the dry deserts, their spirits are still very fresh and cheerful. Their hearts seem to celebrate the precious gift of life through lively colours.
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The culture there is so inviting that I also got immersed in their culture. I too covered my head with a veil most of the time while I was there and wore traditional clothes. I also enjoyed wearing delicate glittering glass bangles of various shades that I picked up from the local market while I was there. In Rajasthan, one gets covered completely in the colours of customs and traditions.
My trip to Rajasthan was short and I couldn’t discover as much as I’d wanted to because of the constraints of time and days. But, still I tried to absorb as much as I could in that short time by talking to the locals there over tea and finding out more about their lifestyle and culture. It was really enjoyable visiting the local shops where the atmosphere and customs of the olden days still prevail in some shops. In such shops one was required to take off one’s shoes and sit on the ground (luckily on thick white cushions) while being served hot ‘masala’ tea to make the shopping experience more pleasurable. Such personalized attention and warm hospitality persuaded me to shop more than I thought. I could not resist buying ‘bandhej’ veils, ‘bandhani’ saris, traditional ‘jutties’ in calf leather and fresh Rajasthani snacks.
On my entire trip in Rajasthan, I felt like Royalty specially whenever somebody addressed me as ‘Hukum’ and greeted me respectfully with a bow or folded hands.
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Mandore Gardens |
The magnificent Mehrangarh Fort fascinated me the most. It is so impressive and till today truly symbolizes the rich era of royalty. The fort despite housing so many tourists and workers had a very calm and quiet atmosphere. It seems all were completely mesmerized with the surroundings and didn’t want to spoil the moment by talking. People were actually whispering as if feeling that they still might be in the presence of a King. Such is the air in the forts-it hypnotizes you and transports you back to the olden era. The fort enthralled me and charmed you.
The area around Jaswant Tharra was very serene and scenically stunning too and I wished I had more time where I could spend the whole afternoon there. Some tourists were just sitting in the gardens and absorbing the silence that surrounded the place as well as the beauty around them. Actually such places naturally invite meditation.
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The ancient temples enveloped by the Forts (Jain Temples in Jaisalmer and the Hindu Temples in Mehrangarh Fort- "Chamunda Devi" Temple & "Shivji's" Temple) gave me an immense sense of of calmness. These temples have an aura of divinity I could actually feel the presence of a power of some sort…Sitting in Shivji’s Temple in Jaisalmer made me find what I was searching for all this while i.e. true calmness. A great sense of peace prevailed over me out there.
The beautifully carved " Patwon ki Havelis " ( Havelis of Patwons ) in Jaisalmer spell grandeur in the real sense. It was sheer delight to see the display of luxury and wealth in every corner of the haveli in the form of paintings etc. What surprised me was the variety of sophisticated kitchen items the kitchen held even in the olden times.
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The vast golden deserts of Jaisalmer encompass many folklores, music and dances. I spent an evening in the desert listening to a young boy and his father singing for me in the silence of the desert. The camel ride before that was a bit challenging though and strained me a bit but I’m glad I took on that adventure. A visit to the desert is not complete without it.
The beautiful Umaid Bhawan Palace in Jodhpur introduced me to Royalty of present times and their rich history and legacy. I think everyone who goes there fervently wishes and hopes for a glimpse of the Royal family. Unfortunately one could not wander around freely on the palace grounds there on the side that has been converted into a Hotel. But it was interesting to see the old portraits and photographs of the Royal family.
Rajasthan depicts the real India. It’s the heart and soul of the culture of India. I would definitely like to go back there again sometime to find new adventures and create new memories...
Thursday, January 27, 2011
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CULTURAL SENSITIVITY IN THE KITCHEN
A Table for many Cultures
It is essential to cater to different cultural tastes as the perfect host. Adaptability to the availability of ingredients and matching the cooking to the palates or tastes of your guests is so important in preparing for a party. One must take into account not only the cultural tastes but also the individual preferences as well of all your guests. A detailed and careful preparation will never let you down.
Your sensitivity towards your guests specially in food will be felt and appreciated greatly as well as create a lasting impression on them in the form of a most perfect lovely evening. My parents were a famous couple in the diplomatic circle in Japan as in entertaining and hosting parties they demonstrated a lot of sensitivity. A leading magazine “Good Day” featured them too as one of the famous Diplomatic Parties Hosts. My mother always introduced a tinge of flavours from various cultures in her cuisine. No wonder her book and TV programs became so famous too at the time. The same special touch was added to the music and the drinks for the party as well.
My parents won prizes in “Kikkoman” Cooking Contests as well because of the fact that they introduced a tinge of Japanese flavour in their Indian dishes. They always kept in mind the preferences of their guests and catered to the tastes of all countries at their home parties. The food at their parties truly represented a fusion of many cultures. Today it has become even more important to find out more about different cultural preferences in food in order to combine those tastes with your food to entertain well...
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Life is a Tango
Life in a relationship is a dance…I want him to lead and I want to follow…
I was reading about Tango and it’s different forms. This dance has always fascinated me. I feel in many ways Life is a Tango…in a relationship. A man leads in life and if he misses a step or falters, the dance could end there and then…It also depends on both the man and woman as to how to create a beautiful experience in the journey of their relationship …
What is important is how he leads and how she follows… to create a beautiful dance in life without tripping each other. A dance like Tango can be experienced in a marriage with beautiful and precise steps. Each step must be taken with care and each movement must be graceful in a relationship to create such a beautiful dance.
The Tango dancers dance in a closed embrace with legs relaxed and slightly bent…that’s how a relationship between couples should be. Love should embrace the couple yet it should not suffocate them. There should be optimum communication. They should find solace and peace in each other’s love and bend the rules a bit to avoid rigidity of any kind in that beautiful emotion. They should flexibly adjust to each others’ needs in a relationship just like the Nuevo Tango’s frame called an ‘embrace’ or ‘abrazo’ where the embrace is not rigid but it actually adjusts to different steps. Of course occasional gymnastic lifts, kicks and drops like Tango are natural in a relationship to make the journey of love interesting. But whatever may come, the dance of a relationship should not lose grace and beauty.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS SPARKLES OUR WORLD
HANUKKAH & DIWALI
The festival of lights has different meanings, significance and interpretation around the world. The Jewish Festival of Lights is called Hanukkah and the Hindu Festival of Lights is known as Diwali. Diwali is a religious festival of lights associated with Hinduism, Sikhism and Jainism in India . Both festivals involve prayers.A traditional puja is performed after sunset on Diwali.
Hanukkah is one of the most joyous times of the year in Jewish culture. Hanukkah begins with lighting a 'menorah' for 8 nights with olive oil or wax candles, one on the first night and one each succeeding night so that the last night has eight lights…
Diwali symbolizes the triumph of good over evil, light over darkness and is celebrated with ‘diyas’ (small earthen lamps in clay filled with oil) or candles and fire-crackers. 'Deepawali' in Sanskrit means “a row of lamps”…The Goddess of Wealth Lakshmi is worshipped. Traditional celebrations of Diwali are actually spread over five days. This festival is celebrated in different ways across India . It is one of my favourite festivals.
On Diwali different kind of traditional sweets like laddoos, barfis, gulab jamuns etc. are prepared and gifted while Hanukkah is celebrated with the customary fried jam-filled doughnuts , potato pancakes and cheese products. Both festivals also involve the custom of playing games …On Diwali people play with cards to invite prosperity and on Hanukkah it is customary in many homes to play the 'dreidel' (four-sided spinning top) after lighting the Hanukkah menorah.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
TODAY'S LOVE
People access others who are far out of reach or not in their life any longer by intriguing them with false dramatic stories and fake love…as fake as imitations of famous brands and labels sold in some shops at Janpath Market of Delhi. Such a love is easy to own but not lasting... It loses it’s flavour and beauty in no time specially when the partner discovers the reality. Lasting love is hard to find but still worth waiting for... In love and for true love, one has to risk waiting forever. Make your choice ! :) - What is it going to be ? A relationship as fake as an imitation of a designer brand just to show off for a while that you too can own it or a relationship which is as valuable and for keeps like the original !
CROSS-CULTURAL LOVE
LOVE THAT TRANSCENDS CULTURES
'Kites' as we all know is a story of love that goes beyond barriers, boundaries and cultures. This Hindi film defies every rule of a relationship…I particularly liked the movie whatever anyone might say. It represents and exhibits cross-cultural love where language is of no significance. What matters is the language of the hearts that binds two people in the strong bond of true eternal love…
Such a love does not see circumstances, cultures, languages, lifestyles and status…Such a love withstands the trials of life.There is truth in the vows they take…
For me this movie symbolizes the complete merging of souls in the darkness of different identities and circumstances. It is a movie meant for all those who believe and would attempt to believe in the depth of real love. According to me, this movie represents a love that truly transcends cultures…It revives faith in honesty of emotions and the beauty of feelings capable to surpass anything to gain expression…
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Relationships of the Bold & Smart
Instant Coffee Generation / Clueless Generation
Cultures have evolved over centuries whereas generation of today want ‘Instant Coffee Solutions’ in everything from politics to social problems, economic problems and human relationships. Present generation’s next addiction is to instant coffee solutions.
At this pace, they’ll be destroyed from within as they’ve already lost the real foundation of love and goodness that holds a human being in the midst of life…For most of the relationships in this stressed environment, passion withers as time goes by instead of blossoming into something richer and meaningful.
I would like to feel that one always has choices or alternative options suitable to a situation instead of going in the wrong direction in relationships. Or at least it is important to give one’s last shot in dealing with a challenging relationship before giving it up completely or entirely. At least one will not have regrets later about not trying hard enough to save a relationship. But today’s generation wants “Instant Solutions” to fix relationships too and do not realize that changes come gradually and that one has to work at relationships.
Destiny does play a part in breaking relationships. Sometimes clash of personalities, conflicting personalities and cultural differences can make relationships all the more complicated and hard to bear. Sometimes life and circumstances leave no choice but to walk away from a bad relationship because of serious problems. Then one is forced to do so because of circumstances. In such cases,one may not have any choice. But for others there is no excuse for abandoning a relationship...
Unfortunately, in these modern times relationships have no real and permanent places in peoples' lives as they want to while away time till they find somebody more beneficial to them or they just want to experiment different relationships simultaneously. No wonder they can so easily play with one another’s life and not even feel the slightest bit of remorse or guilt when they break all promises of love and loyalty.
For some, a relationship has become a source of power in the sense that he or she likes to see how far they can rule a person and get that person to do everything for them. Sometimes relationships are of this shade these days where the power of authority rests with one person alone and thus imbalances the relationship between two individuals. Instead of truly being life partners, one person only dictates that relationship and manipulates the spouse endlessly under the threat of separation. This can damage the other person and create a feeling of helplessness and sense of entrapment in the person putting up with it.
Relationships of the Bold and Smart believe in change which means constant change of partners over the time as they get easily bored with one person…Truth and honour have lost it’s meanings in relationships today and nobody seems to obey them anymore.
Today’s generation regards relationships as something that could be given up so easily and so quickly. They fall in love as quickly as they fall out of love. Infact they’re clueless about love…I feel that at times some of them are emotionally challenged…their attitudes cripple them to the extent that they do not want to either commit to anyone at all or they don’t want a long term commitment to start with. Even if they do happen to get involved with anyone, they want to walk out on it soon enough as they can’t face the thought of something so real, where reality expects them to deal with occurrences of challenges in a relationship.
Most of today’s generation can’t handle the truth of real relationships where everything is certainly not a bed of roses… The relationships of the Instant Coffee Generation do not actually honour the truth and vows exchanged between two people in love.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Just a Thought In my Language...
"मुझे कुछ ऐसा महसूस होता है...
एक ही इंसान कितने किरदार निभाता है इस छोटी सी ज़िन्दगी में, कभी दुनिया के लिए कभी अपनों के लिए...
इस सिलसिले में कुछ ऐसा ही पहले भी लिखा है ...
बहुत कम इंसान ऐसे हैं जिनको यह जहां उनके असली चेहरे के साथ कबूल कर ले...
लोग आपमें वोह देखना चाहते हैं जो उन्हें पसंद है और ना की वोह जो आप चाहते हैं...
अक्सर लोग सच नहीं देखना चाहते हैं...
और हम दुनियादारी के लिए या उन्हें बहलाने के लिए , उन्हें वोही दिखलाते हैं जो वोह देखना पसंद करते हैं और यह हकीकत नहीं ...
वक़्त के साथ साथ हम वैसे दिखने लगते हैं जैसे हम है ही नहीं... हम एक नकाब या मुकुट पहन लेते हैं...
ना चाहते हुए या कभी बिना जाने , हर किसी के लिए शायद एक अलग सा चेहरा होता है ... "
"Mujhe kuch aisa mehsoos hota hai...
Ek hi insaan kitne kirdaar nibhata hai is chhoti si zindagi me,
kabhi duniya ke liye to kabhi apnon ke liye...
Is silsile me kuch aisa hi pehle bhi likha hai ...
Bahut kam insaan aise hain jinko yeh jahaan unke asli chehre ke saath kabul kar le...
Log aapme woh dekhna chahte hain jo unhe pasand hai aur na ki woh jo aap chahte hain...
Aksar log sach nahi dekhna chahte hain...
Aur hum duniyadari ke liye ya unhe behlane ke liye, unhe wohi dikhlate hain jo woh dekhna pasand karte hain aur yeh hakeekat nahin...
Waqt ke saath saath hum waise dikhne lagte hain jaise hum hai hi nahin...
Hum ek nakaab ya mukuth pahan lete hain ...
Na chahte hue ya kabhi bina jaane , har kisi ke liye shayad ek alag sa chehra hota hai..."
(I feel something like this ...
One person plays so many characters in this short life, sometimes for the world and sometimes for his own people...
Have written regarding this earlier on too...
There are very few people whom this world accepts in their true form...
People want to see in you what they want to see or like and not what you like or want to reveal...
Most of the time, people do not want to see the truth...and in order to humour them we show them what they'd like to see in us instead of our true identity and this is not reality...
With time we start appearing and living what we are actually not in reality...
We wear a mask...
Unconsciously and contrary to our liking, we start presenting a different face or picture to everyone...)
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