UNPOLISHED BOOTS

On the occasion of Kargil Vijay Diwas as an Army Officer's daughter,  I write this article as a tribute to the serving soldiers and military veterans-

An officers pride shines not only in his discipline or courage in line of duty, it also resides in correct turnout of his uniform and boots. An officer's uniform is starched and ironed immaculately without even a doubt of crease. His shoes or boots and belt are always well polished . His medals and stars of gallantry shine brightly in all glory. His beret adorns his head proudly.

As long as he is in the Sevices, there is always someone to attend to him all the time and decorate his uniform as well as prepare his shoes to shine brightly for the day. He is respected by his juniors and admired by his seniors for his commitment to duty . His work is appreciated and recognized.

But the day he retires the dullness and monotony of his life reflects in his boots which stand unpolished now in a cupboard somewhere or are given away. For so many years those boots could not be separated from him and travelled  with him to adventurous , mysterious and faraway places. Those boots carried him through thick battles and areas of conflict. They have been an important part of his life but later those boots are taken away from him in a way as his life of service to the country retires. From a serving officer his title then changes to a veteran. From a life of challenges, hurdles and adventures, now his life alters to that one of simplicity and serenity. His social activities and parties decline in numbers though he still visits the Defence Clubs and enjoys other amenities as an ex officer. But somewhere he actually misses his old life and tries to catch a glimpse of it every now and then in his memories. He lives his old life through the narration of his interesting stories of those glorious days. He has real life stories to speak of his valour and dedication in serving the nation. His old life speaks of his sacrifices in the line of duty in being separated from his family on field postings or roughing it out in dangerous, intimidating and strange environments which at one time or the other has challenged his health too. But through it all he had tons of reserves of iron like determination and courage.

Now too after retiring he had not changed as age is just a state of mind and his courage and discipline remain intact and are visible in his life...but somewhere the creases of tiredness of the past that he acquired while serving in harsh weathers and places now reflect in his face and walk. Now as age catches up with him, there is nobody to wait upon him like his staff, attendants and juniors did back then. Now people even forget his achievements as a serving officer and he leads an ordinary life in contrast to the glorious as well as glamorous cantonment life he led. Of course he leads a good quality life after retirement too and is well settled with his pension too even if he chooses not to work. His children having not forgotten his contribution to the best education he could afford for them now strive to give him all the comfort and luxury he so deserves but he only feels truly alive when he is back in his army environment and he eagerly waits to be a part of it every now and then through reunions and parties.

Somewhere his soul cannot adjust to this new destination in his life called retired life and somewhere he feels ignored and neglected. He tries to attach the same meaning his life held in those early days but when at times he can't find it, he feels lost. All the more we need to give back what our veterans gave us and serving officers should not forget that they too will be in their position one day. More respect has to be demonstrated towards veterans in Military Hospitals and Canteens where the civil staff forget that these ageing veterans were once dashing heroes of our services and have to always be remembered and treated that way. Just because his boots lie unpolished now does not mean that he is not the same person he once used to be. He still has the right to the same importance and attention. Serving officers should ensure that the lives of the veterans remain well polished for life and shine as brightly as ever through their support. 

Cooking adds more flavour to life !

I just came across a contest on Facebook and the question was what made one a happy chef...I also participated in it and on a spontaneous note wrote the following-

" The smiles on our faces while enjoying delicious home- cooked food cooked by my mother makes her feel very contented as a wife, mother and my cooking teacher. That is a very fulfilling experience for her and that makes her immensely happy. That is what makes her truly a " Happy Chef" and in her sharing her treasured age old recipes from various cuisines with her family and friends. 

After all there is happiness in sharing as well as caring when you share your time, knowledge and experience to give delicious moments to your loved ones and it certainly begins from the kitchen !

 She has also shared her cooking secrets that she learnt from her mother in her book published on Indian Cooking in Japan and in doing that as well as introducing Indian cooking to the Japanese world also made her a Happy Chef ! Be it my father or mother, both are Happy Chefs as whatever and whenever they cook for the children reflects their love and happiness through the flavours and aromas...

Enjoy cooking and add all the ingredients of love and care in all your dishes and you will surely earn the tittle of a Happy Chef and that is what I follow too...:) "

I feel that cooking adds more flavour to life and it is one of the best ways to express the deep affection you hold for your family as well as imparting the right taste and flavour to others' lives as well. So learn cooking and enjoy cooking with family and friends ! :)

Sikkim

NaTula/ Nathula Pass 

I took this beautiful picture from the Indo- China Border at 14,150 F. We visited our Indian Officers and Soldiers on Independence Day, 15th August 2011. What better way to celebrate our Independence Day ! The entire journey to such a beautiful and historic height can never be forgotten even though it was a long challenging journey and I even fell sick on the way down. But any day I would travel there again if I could. The entire experience of travel there would be always treasured and the memories of the mesmerisingly beautiful landscapes created by nature would always be remembered.

Mesmerising view from Nathula Pass- By Simrit

Ladakh

Clear blue sky and the beautiful landscape - A perfect setting ! - By Simrit

Beauty of Nature- Japan

                                                          

Captured by Simrit
Colours of Nature- The City of Ise
Mie Prefecture, Japan

Life Borrowed

Life is borrowed..it is not ours to keep..then why are we so possessive about our moments and the people in our lives when everything is not ours to keep ? Life is a mirage in the desert of the world. In this world nothing stays constant. Life exists momentarily but then vanishes in an instant when you try to seize it.

The above was something I often thought about and recently after this expression of mine found it's way to paper as words, I just decided to google and see if people around the world had harboured the same thought at one time or another. I was amazed to find all that was written on the same thought process. So much is written on this subject in quotations and religion and I intend to research that later and hopefully share some information I acquire along the way.

 Now when I wrote the above I had no idea that this topic has been widely covered. That just goes to show that somewhere some peoples' thoughts are connected in some way around the globe- The Chain of  Similar Thoughts starts forming the first time someone thinks of something new and that keeps getting echoed around the world consciously or unconsciously. Thus thoughts that are good or bad have the power to affect this world. Thoughts are like bells and these bells resound over the world. Thoughts can be heard even from across distances.

Thinking aloud may influence some but silent thoughts too have deep repercussions as they travel to distant places to different minds like a telepathy of some sort even if these thoughts are never shared or heard. Law of Attraction too advocates the same view that thoughts are powerful and through our thoughts we can make things happen and make them possible against all odds. Such is the power of thoughts. What we think is interpreted by the a Universe and once it receives the message it gives it back to you in some sort of form . Sometimes these thoughts are distributed by the universe amongst other minds from it's storage of wide thought processes. Thoughts even the discarded ones leave it's impressions in this universe according to me...So we have to be careful about what we think because
as we believe in Hinduism and many other religions that what we think takes form and one thing said during the day comes true. Well I know this may appear deep but I still felt the need to write it down for some reason. Some may relate to it while it may not be able to reach some minds and there are those who may dismiss it as just another form of deep thinking.

Siliguri

Coronation Bridge Siliguri

Built in 1930 over the famous Teesta River at the confluence of Rangeet River & Teesta River

Built by the British, this bridge marks the coronation of 

King George V

By Simrit...

Label of Hatred

What is strange and unknown to us may intimidate or alienate us in the beginning, but we have no right to be so judgemental and suspicious about it everytime. What is unknown to us may not be acceptable but it should not be rebuked or negatively commented on. Everyone has a different way of life, thought and dressing and that should be no cause to bully someone or threaten them. We have to accept each other with our differences and by no way hold some accountable for the actions of others. No two people are alike and no two communities are alike. Differences are bound to exist between people but that should not divide them. Just a bit of difference in our attitudes can change the world for the better.

Everybody has different cultures and faiths. The differences in cultures and faiths when intermingled make a beautiful painting in life. Just like the difference in day and night as well as summer and winter, people tend to be different too. Life would be dull and monotonous if everyone looked and behaved the same way. We should try not to judge someone through his nationality or community . As I always say there are good and bad people in each community or country and that should always be kept in mind before putting everyone on the other side under one label...the Label of Hatred.

Destruction of Women in the Battle between Men

Recently I have been watching a TV serial based on a love story amidst the partition of two countries and as always I couldn't help but think about the plight of women in such troubled and dangerous times. I wonder if such horrific events such as wars or riots really stem out of political or religious motives. I feel they are more motivated by lust for power and greed for dominance over another specially women. It takes a more personal tone...It is like as if the animal lying dormant in some men skilfully uses this time to unleash itself under the camouflage of religious or political ambitions to hunt for his prey. At times like that some men hide their really devious intentions towards women under the mask of fighting for a country or cause when actually they are just furthering their own twisted cause. Their greed for power over women consumes them completely and they start attacking women endlessly.Why are women always attacked the most and treated in the most inhuman manner in enmities and clashes between countries and communities ? I think that maybe some men use such crisis to further their own  interests. Such men mask their ugly intentions very carefully.

History stands witness to the fact that in wars, battles or riots women are targeted the most as a means of degrading , humiliating and demeaning the other side. A woman is supposed to be the honour and foundation of her home, country and community and anyone who wants to weaken that foundation axes the roots and therefore attacks the women the maximum on the opposite side. In the battle between men, it is the woman who suffers the most. In the battle between nations and communities we hear of unthinkable atrocities committed against women. In the battle between countries, it is the women who are destroyed, harmed and broken the most in bits and pieces that tear them apart forever and make the world lose faith in humanity. It is sad and heartbreaking that even today women are captured as some sort of prize in wars and taken as slaves. We should be ashamed that we cannot do much to change that. In that case how has advancement in thoughts and civilisation favoured us as a race when we are still stuck in the quicksand of barbaric traditions of war which defy every rule of humanity ?

Yet the same man in more peaceful moments may have gone down on his knees to plead that a woman accepts him as his partner. Then why does the animal in him surface in him in violent times ? Does it have to be because of environment, upbringing or social values ? It is commonly said that a man who respects his mother will respect other women. A man like that would never ever harm a woman in any way.

New Paths of Life

Sometimes people or places leave you or you leave them and have to go forward alone from there. In reality nobody actually leaves anyone as it is just that the situation or circumstances that warrant it at that time or destiny carves your life in such a way. 

Destiny carves itself in a person's life most of the time. It may appear that it may be your choice entirely to abandon a place or person but somewhere that choice too is dictated by compulsion of circumstances or life's requirement to align things in a certain way.

At times you need to set out on a search for yourself where not everybody will be able to walk with you. But that does not mean that your ties with that place or person are lost forever. You can still always go back there from time to time to find yourself. Many a times it is alright to delve in the past to discover your strengths and weaknesses again...to remind yourself about the mistakes and trials or tribulations in your life which will help you to embark on strange and new paths with more assurance to usher new changes in your life and combat any challenges that come with it.

New paths that take you to new destinations and people are a journey nobody can ever avoid. There are places and people waiting out there to embrace you and accept you just the way you are if you give them a chance to. Live life and live every moment with it !

What's in a name ?

I often hear people say that, " What's in a name ? " . Perhaps it's their way of covering up their mistake by offering such a statement over their mistake in addressing you by a wrong name. What is most infuriating is that they refuse to call you by your given name despite your politely requesting them to do so. Many a times, I have encountered such a situation and those people refuse to accept calling you by your name as they don't even seem to find it remotely odd. Instead such people feel that whatever name they choose to call you and your given name are one and the same thing. I actually find that quite rude as well as insulting and I feel that such an attitude spells lack of sensitivity or lack of respect for the other person. After all the best way to acknowledge or greet people is by their names.

Also one should let the other person decide how he or she wants to be addressed by you and what they want to be called. One only allows close ones to call you by your nickname or use other terms of endearments. I always ask people how may I address them as not everyone gives the liberty to you to call them by their nicknames or first names. It is essential to let the other person invite you to address him or her by their nicknames.

 As an ex- Hotelier, it is ingrained in me to make it a point to address people by their names and making sure that I pronounce and spell names correctly. We were taught about the significance of addressing people correctly by their given names and titles as part of training. As a Guest Relations Officer, it was my duty to memorise guests' names, birthdays and preferences to add a more personal touch to their visits. After all everyone wants to be acknowledged  and be made to feel that you respect them enough to remember their names and pronounce them rightly. Moreover as an individual too I give huge importance to such things as part of etiquette. Once in a while everyone can forget names or not know the correct pronunciation of a certain name but what is important is that we apologise immediately and ensure that we correct such slip ups by asking the person directly about the correct pronunciation of that person's name.  Unintentional mistakes can happen but can always be corrected and the other person would appreciate your genuine effort in going to lengths to refer to him or her correctly.

In the work world or personal life, it is important to be sensitive about how you address people. It certainly enhances your image and leaves a good impression on others. What's in a name ? The answer is a name is everything...A name is an identity of a person and an introduction to others. A name is an introduction to the world about who you are...The right name is required in your passport or at work and then I wonder why is it not given so much of importance in personal life. People may say that " A name is just a name"  but I think without your name you will have no identity. Now that could be both advantageous or disadvantageous in many ways in today's world where you may be judged purely by your last name but we have to live with our names and be proud of it.

A name in a way defines you...You will be robbed of your own identity if you do not give importance to your name or expect the others to do the same. While it may be very romantic to hear as Juliet said that " What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet", I still feel that your name cannot be separated from you even if you separate yourself from it. Your name is sealed in your destiny and is binding on you for life. In Hinduism or Sikhism we feel that changing your name can alter your destiny...and that your name affects your personality in some ways.

There are two conflicting theories to it but as much as I agree that what matters is who you are and not what you are called or known as, I still give importance to a name. Most of us believe that God is one and yet we address God by different names as that is our way of believing that while God may be one, God has different forms. The world addresses Gods by different names as this is our way of forming a personal connection with God by having different terms of endearments. I feel in a similar sort of way, a name is your form too among many in this world as it forms you in a way...A name symbolises you.

Sikkim

Rumtek Monastery

An Afternoon to remember...Rumtek Monastery- By Simrit

Wealth of Emotions vs Material Wealth

A woman has a wealth of emotions and affection to offer and as a home maker she contributes precious moments of her time to raising a family which is never really appreciated truly the way it should be . Material wealth has taken priority over wealth of emotions in relationships lately where a man appreciates a working woman more than a home maker and a woman now is forced to think that the only way she can buy freedom and earn respect is by earning. A lot of women are actually inclined to think that the man in her life will give her real importance when she contributes to his bank account as well as shares the role of bread winner of the family.

While there may be choices and truths involved in such lifestyles, somewhere these are robbing the real essence of relationships where material expectations have risen so high that it steals them of real happiness , trust, security and unconditional love. Somewhere the balance of relationships are getting affected by this change of roles from a home maker to a financially independent wife .

Material expectations are openly discussed very widely before marriages these days and thus this has become a very important matter to be addressed. But such matters are delicate and sometimes very harmful to the relationship in the initial days of marriage where the partners don't know each other that well and  may form rigid opinions about each other in the process. So people have to approach this subject of material expectations and responsibilities very sensibly and tactfully without offending or alienating the other.

It should be merely about choices and not compulsions where men demand women to earn and contribute in paying the bills. It should be about personal choice and letting a woman decide if she wants to work or not . A woman deserves financial independence if she wants to pursue such a life but if she wants to be a homemaker then that too should be accepted,respected and appreciated as well. As it is there are so many options these days for women to work from home as well if a situation demands it and if it becomes absolutely necessary for her to earn.

I believe in financial independence and paying for most of my things but like many other women I would definitely value a man who can provide for me and I will in no way feel threatened or insulted by it. If a man enjoys providing for a woman in a relationship, she should by no way feel that her identity is getting threatened or he is doing a favour to her. A woman after all has the right to be pampered and indulged after all that she gives of herself in different forms in various relationships of her life as a daughter, wife, sister and mother. A man can certainly afford to be generous enough in that respect to provide for her in every way specially as a husband if circumstances permit and a woman chooses to have it that way.

A Period of Transition

A New Phase of Life

Beginnings and Endings

The journey of life's one phase to another phase is never easy. Many times it may not be accepted initially even though sometimes one is prepared for it. One knows that changes arrive at our doorsteps with new responsibilities, losses, partings or sacrifices in big or small sizes. And there comes a price with everything be it good or bad.

Beginnings and Endings carry a lot of emotions and changes that are good or bad. Some accept this change while some resist it but after all said and done and after a while , the new phase of life motivates or forces one to accept it finally. It becomes simple to embrace the change by arriving at a point where you genuinely come to terms with it. While the period of transition becomes all the more unacceptable, difficult and challenging when one refuses to befriend it. So one is left with just one choice... As I always state " Such is Life". As translated in Spanish language " Asi es la vida".

A Temple in Ise

Hemis Monastery- Ladakh

An afternoon at the Hemis Monastery

Hemis Gompa by Simrit

Mirror Mirror on the Wall...

" In the mirror of relationship you see what you reflect...You see what you   are.

In a way you find yourself in the other person in a relationship. You get what you give. You receive what you offer. "

                                                                                                                     

 -Simrit 

Trust

"Trust is like a piece of glass...once broken it cannot be ever fixed.  And even if you join back the pieces too the cracks will remind you of that damage.

Trust is as fragile as life. Once destroyed it can never be revived.

It is important to uphold and protect the trust people place in you. Once lost trust can never be recovered completely. "

                                                                                  -Simrit

          

Jodhpur

Palace of Jodhpur 

Umaid Bhawan Palace, Jodhpur...A visit to remember long after !

Leh, Ladakh

Picturesque view of Leh from Shanti Stupa...

Night view of  Leh captured by me from Shanti Stupa

A Historical Street- Kawasaki, Ise City

An Ancient Street in Japan

A historical street in Kawasaki , Mie- ken Japan

Autumn Leaves of Japan

Ise Shrine

Ise Shrine- My favourite spot on my visits

Colours of Ladakh...

Ladakh

Shanti Stupa- By Simrit

Times in Leh

Ladakh Festival...Leh

Man in traditional Ladakhi costume 

Beautiful Times in Ladakh

LADAKH

I took this beautiful picture on my way to Pang Gong Tso Lake...The journey was quite adventurous but the  beautiful surroundings made up for all the tiredness. Really that place is truly Heaven on Earth !

Ladakh...

Darjeeling to Gangtok

Stopped @ a picturesque Tea Plantation en route to Sikkim ...from Darjeeling

Remembering our Braveheart Heroes- Courage under Fire

Remembering our Braveheart Heroes- Courage under Fire 

Yet another Braveheart lays down his life heroically to protect and defend the nation. May the soul of our brave hero rest in peace...My heart reaches out to their families whenever I hear of such tragic news. Many of you don't even know his name or how wonderful a person he was. Many of you don't know the grieving  family he has left behind in sacrificing his life for us or the everlasting memories he has left behind in the hearts of his men and officers he served with. He didn't have to die so young or he could have served the country more with his steel like valour and determination to defend the nation. So many thoughts like that cross our minds but what makes me more sad is when some don't give them their fair dues. 

Not many have such courage to lay down their lives for the Nation as life is very precious to all. All the more we should as a nation salute our brave hearts and honour them countrywide for serving the nation faithfully. He or she has earned this rightfully.We all have to do our bit in spreading an awareness regarding the work of our officers and soldiers specially serving in extreme climatic conditions and highly dangerous places. 

We must stand united in motivating people to recognize and value their sacrifices.There are so many nations who respect their Defence Forces and honour their men countrywide every year. The time has come when we should also do the same and recognize as well as appreciate the efforts of our Forces in protecting us or we will end up extinguishing the fire of patriotism in our soldiers. Why would men stand up to protect the nation when every time their contributions and sacrifices go unrecognised ? No they don't want anything in return as they are are selfless heroes as they feel more deeply about their country than most of us. But it is their right to earn the much deserved respect and honour of the people they protect. Moreover the families left behind have to be honoured even more for fighting a battle everyday in their memory.

Many nations honour their Armed Forces once a year and a day is marked as a national holiday when the entire country comes together in remembering their war heroes and honouring the ones serving in the forces as well. Countries like the U.K and U.S.A commit themselves to appreciate and recognize the sacrifices of their Forces.The government must bestow the same honour on our Defence Forces too and the media should contribute to this by continuously hi lighting the services of the Armed Forces and always the heroic sacrifice of a soldier and officer should be covered in the news.

We may celebrate the Armed Forces Day within the military and the government may honour some of our heroes on the Republic Day Parade. But just giving away medals or decorations isn't sufficient as we could give more meaning to their sacrifices only if we truly keep them in our hearts and remember them as often as we can. Our government has to be more supportive and appreciative towards the Forces and demonstrate the much needed sensitivity and empathy towards the work of the Armed Forces.

 They should organize more events to create more awareness amongst other citizens regarding all that the Defence Forces are doing for the Nation. More events need to be hosted by the government and corporate houses to raise money to support some of the families of the defence brave hearts even though the Armed Forces are quite self sufficient in providing the best for their people.

Such heroic sacrifices can never be forgotten !

As I always say that we all desire world peace as wars only result in loss of lives on both sides. But on the other hand we should be realistic enough to realize that much against everyone's prayers and wishes there are bound to be wars and conflicts because of the thought process of certain people or their thirst for power . In such threatening situations, we need our Defence Forces to protect us. In fact at such times they are called upon to defend us. We may not believe in attacking but we definitely need the Forces to retaliate powerfully to defend us in every way possible. So how can we not give them the importance they truly deserve and express great appreciation for their work in our everyday lives. 

It is the duty of our government to encourage people to respect the Armed Forces and not the other way around. It is also the duty of the government to ensure that the equipments, tanks, ships,planes and weapons provided to the Armed Forces to aid them in protecting us don't let them down. In the past we have seen a lot of cases where because of corruption some of the planes and ships purchased for the Forces were faulty and there have been accidents and crashes because of it. How can we as a nation forgive such people who have betrayed our Armed Forces when they have never let us down ever at times of internal or external threats and attacks. They gallantly fight for our respect and dignity  every time . The Armed Forces consider it their sole responsibility and purpose to protect us and keep us safe. The time has come that we honour them generously and express our gratitude to them for standing up to defend our nation. We must remind them as often as we can that we completely value their services.

I respect the Army as an institution and all that it stands for. I respect our Armed Forces for their discipline, values, traditions and valour. Jai Hind !

" Abstract Relationships "

Some relationships are like abstract paintings. They are not the usually defined ones  or those that have shape of some sorts. Such relationships are interpreted or understood only by some and admired by a few who are dictated by their hearts alone. In such a relationship you may fall for someone you have never met and just interacted with through letters or calls. You may have seen the photograph of the person but may not have had an opportunity to meet...Sometimes such relationships can touch the heart and soul more than the ones that are formed by meeting in person. 
 Abstract paintings don't have any defined lines , colours or rules as they are a uniquely beautiful result of an individual's spontaneous or free expression and emotion.The same way some relationships like the one mentioned above also are free from the usual norms existing in other traditional relationships. Such relationships may lack definition or some sort of shape and yet the emotions in it are more vibrant than the usual relationships. 
 As it is "abstract relationships" as I would like to call them rely totally on a person's innermost feeling but may not represent the usual relationship found in everyday life in the sense that it is difficult to be understood by everyone . The usual relationship is based on what is visible. 
Sometimes one can fall deeply in love with the unknown or someone you have never seen contrary to what people may believe. It is all about the interpretation of the heart as some hearts see beyond what is visible and defined by most. Such a relationship may mean the world to you but not to others as others would not accept it or even try to comprehend the emotions as it does not appear real to them because of it's mysterious nature. 
But then it is quite natural that what may appear beautiful to you may not appear the same to others. It is rightly said that " beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder ". The same way the beauty of such a relationship lies in the hearts of those who truly love and believe in that unusual relationship which is born within the distance that separates them.
Most of the times what is not easily visible is deeper and soul stirring than what is visible. Hidden emotions in an abstract relationship are found or unveiled not by the world but by the person who has the courage and faith to believe in it. Isn't love said to be spontaneous ? Love is an abstract art that knows no reason or boundaries. Love is spontaneous and not planned. It just happens to you.But emotions however abstract have relevance and have to be appreciated even though they cannot be explained at times.
No two relationships are the same. But each relationship has it's own meaning and importance to the two who reside in it and that has to be respected instead of being questioned all the time. One's interpretation of a relationship may differ from the other and what suits one may not suit another. So one cannot be judgemental about relationships that may not be defined at times as those too are the designs of God and cannot be judged even if not recognized and accepted. But abstract relationships may be far more challenging than the usual ones as one has to battle the critical analysis of others all the time. As I always say that it is human nature that we fear what we cannot understand as the unknown is intimidating. The authenticity or the reality of unique relationships are always questioned.

Amritsar, PUNJAB

The Historical Shrine of the Sikhs in the Holy City of Amritsar

The Golden Temple ( Harmandir Sahib / Darbar Sahib ) Amritsar

Sikh Gurudwara

The most famous Gurudwara of the Sikhs ...

Paper Art Kirigami Connection with Traditional Art Form of Rangoli & Marble Inlay Work

Paper art is a beautiful art form and is popular in many counties like Japan, Germany, U.S.A and China. Japan is known for the paper art Origami and Kirigami. Origami is a well known paper art and is famous worldwide. Origami is a paper art that involves folding of paper. While Kirigami paper art involves folding of single paper many times to form different shapes like a square or a cone for instance and cutting that paper base into various shapes symmetrically in each section to form designs. That folded paper with numerous small cuts in many shapes and sizes are then opened to reveal the final patterns in the shape of snowflakes,flowers etc.

" Kiru" means to cut and "gami "( kami ) means paper. Kirigami means to cut paper. It is a beautiful as well as delicate and intricate form of paper craft of folded as well as cut paper to form paper designs of snowflakes etc.

Origami does not involve cutting of paper. I remember how as children my brother and I learnt Kirigami and Origami in our craft class in Japan. Origami and Kirigami lessons were the lessons we always looked forward to as these paper arts would transport us to a peaceful world of pretty designs and creativity. I used to love the beautiful and bright coloured papers specially with Japanese motifs used specially in origami.  We used to create snowflakes for decorating our school windows before Christmas at our International school in Tokyo.

Kirigami was particularly interesting as according to me it is closest to an individual expression and what is interesting is that the more innovative you get the more interesting and delightful designs of paper craft you create. It is a paper art form that children specially enjoy and while all forms of paper art around the world are lovely, Kirigami is very popular and teaches kids to develop patience and refine their concentration and  creativity. The wonderful pop up cards or books that are an old time favourite of most are also an example of Kirigami.

The Kirigami designs resemble some of the patterns of " Rangoli ". In modern India Kirigami paper stencils are now available to make " Rangolis " on Hindu festivals like Diwali ( Festival of Lights )  and other auspicious occasions at the entrance using vibrant coloured sand, powders or rice. Rangoli is an ancient traditional folk art form from India where mostly geometrical,floral or other ethnic motifs are drawn on the floor or ground in the form of a circle with actually a chalk or freehand with coloured powder. These patterns are filled with lively coloured sand, petals or rice. These patterns are then decorated with earthen lamps around them usually at the entrance to welcome the Gods and the guests. On Diwali Rangoli is made at the entrance of the house to attract and welcome the Goddess of Wealth, Lakshmi . Now that my imagination is becoming more active in comparing the traditional art of Kirigami , I wonder if artisans, craftsmen and designers got inspired by it to even create those block printing wooden blocks which are used with vegetable dyes to design saris and fabrics and the designs on these paper mâché  or brass, mother of pearl and marble pill boxes. My mother and I were just discussing how the delicate art form of inlay work using semi precious stones on marble in Taj Mahal also reminds us of Kirigami art. The art form of Inlay work originated from Italy and then appealed to the Mughals soon after that.

I believe that Kanako Yaguchi is a very famous and well respected artist in the world of Kirigami. I have always been particularly interested in this paper art form since my childhood days but I intend to pursue this childhood interest and hobby now to study more about this art form and learn about this artist as well to inspire myself more in immersing myself deeper in this form of paper art.

Spanish Touch in Japanese Countryside

Carmen Hall , Spain "Mura " ( Village ), Ise shima, Mie-ken

Spain Mura used to be my favourite destination  ...While living in Mie-ken I would often visit that place to get away from the daily routine. The place is very relaxing and conveniently located. Carmen Hall always hosts these beautiful performances of Flamenco Dances. Professional dancers from Spain perform here. One must definitely visit Carmen Hall if you happen to visit Spain Mura in Mie Prefecture. It is easily accessible by train or bus.

Ladakh Festival- one of the ladies in the traditional attire before the performance...

Sometimes it is easier living a lie ! This is a line from the movie "Catch me if you can" directed by Steven Spielberg. This movie is based on a true story about Frank Abagnale Jr., who before his 19th birthday, successfully conned millions of dollars' worth of checks (cheques) as a Pan Am pilot, doctor, and legal prosecutor. An FBI agent Carl Hanratty hunts him down after a long and interesting chase. But later it is Carl who convinces the FBI to offer a deal to Frank to spend the remainder of his sentence working for them.In the end Frank ends up working for the Bank Fraud Department of FBI and serves the remainder of his sentence of twelve years there. Later in life Frank goes on to earn millions of dollars each year because of his work creating unforgeable cheques.


Well this movie has come on TV several times but I never got interested in watching the entire movie at one time until last week. Earlier on I have watched it in bits and pieces but today this movie kept me engrossed from the beginning till the end and I realized that the message in this movie is far deeper than I imagined.

It made me think about a lot of things and I couldn't help but think that for various reasons and maybe limitations in their life, most people tend to live a life of lie maybe not the way the character Frank ( played by Leonardo DiCaprio ) in this movie did but in so many different ways.

Some people live a "make believe life" as I would like to name it to escape reality as the truth for them can be more harsh than the lie. People sometimes think that the solution to their problems lies in not addressing it at all and to detach themselves from the truth they resort to pretending and gradually start living a life of lie.

When people live a life of lie be it in a relationship or profession, they actually start believing that there can be no life other than that and resign themselves unfairly to an unhappy life filled with only pain,loneliness and disillusionment. They cheat themselves from living a real and true life where they may actually find peace and happiness. I have seen people living an unhappy marriage or working somewhere that does not serve their appetite of dreams and ambitions but they continue living that life and falsely convincing themselves to feel that this is the only thing and the best thing for them for whatever reasons.

But I have also seen people who save such people above from their lives of lies and restore confidence in their lives by motivating and inspiring them to find themselves again and basing their lives on strengths.

The way I see it in this movie Frank tries to escape the pain of the separation of his parents and the breaking of his family life by pretending to be many things and people at one time but himself. He is very intelligent and can do anything he puts his heart and efforts into but he uses his skills and talents only to escape himself by living a life of lie. Frank challenges the FBI agent Carl Hanratty ( Tom Hanks ) to catch him if he can and yet keeps giving him clues perhaps because he wants someone to save him and give him the attention he wants. Frank tries to hide from life in a way and tries to cheat life by running away from it all the time and pretending to be many characters. He tries to take control of his life by pretending to be many characters but his actual real self till the time his father is lost to him forever. What is sad is that he tries to buy happiness for his family and himself through money and makes tremendous efforts to unite his parents but in vain.

Finally he loses to life because as usual life has it's own plans and nobody can alter that. That is when Frank gives up in a way because he gets disheartened to see that his mother now has no place for him in life as she has a brand new family. He turns himself in to the FBI on Christmas Eve. What is most touching is how the agent recognizes the child in Frank who just wants to be loved and accepted and it is he who shows this deep sensitivity to him by getting his prison sentence reduced and giving him a life that suits his talents and adds meaning and order to his life. The character of the FBI agent is also most brilliantly played by Tom Hanks.

Frank always calls the agent on Christmas Eve and that is because he is lonely and the agent realizes that. In the end the FBI agent actually saves Frank from running from himself all the time and helps him reach his true potentials and gets him back to life by motivating him to live a life based on truth. It is really interesting to see how the relationship between Frank and the agent grows through the story and how the agent succeeds in stopping Frank from running away from reality and face his life and create a wonderful ending for him through all that he is capable of giving back to life.

I loved the movie as it is light and humorous at times but with a serious and deep note and a dash of inspiration to make anyone who has lost his way in life to get back on path. In a way the FBI agent turns out to be a kind of " wing friend" or his Guardian Angel in other words to restore his life after his father's demise and his mother's desertion.

Life sure is tough most of the times and the only way to make it somewhat simple is to be true to yourself and stay true to yourself even if you end up alone.

Lakshya

Everyone has some "lakshya" in life...an aim,goal or target in life. Never forget that even when life derails you, the dream of obtaining your aim will only make you thrive in the most challenging circumstances and will help maintain focus. The more determined you are the closer you would reach your Lakshya.

 If you do not have an aim in life then your lakshya itself will find you soon enough or maybe sometimes later in life. Destiny has an odd way of uniting us with what we are meant to do. Life shapes us in a way where eventually our lakshya will greet us. It may not be something you planned on having or wanted but you have to fulfill your destiny by fulfilling that aim or purpose you are given by fate. Stay true to your lakshya and you will be rewarded and it will definitely be fulfilling.

Many times when I am faced with situations that make me temporarily lose my focus, I watch Farhan Akhtar's " Lakshya" . It is a very well directed movie and deeply inspiring. It is basically a story of a carefree guy who does not know what his aim in life is and it takes him long to find what he is searching for. His family and friends don't seem to understand him as they feel that he lacks purpose in life. He eventually meets his Lakshya. In his case he finally realizes that he wants to protect his nation and he remains true to this thought because he finds that this is what he truly wants to do.

This movie never ceases to inspire me and makes one feel that with faith,confidence,belief,patience and discipline anyone can reach their Lakshya. The only distance between your lakshya and you is You. It is left to you to decide how soon you are willing to meet your aim in life. The power lies within you ! 

What is Life...?

What is Life...?

It is so tragic that nobody is untouched by the pain of the terrible loss of a loved one in life...The year has ended so sadly as received one devastating news after the other of the deep losses of people in our circle.

I feel it is so important to be thankful in life for the moments you are given. It is so important to appreciate each and every moment but we still keep getting lost in our daily and irrelevant battles. It is so important to cherish each moment in life.

Once in a while we pause to consider how short life is but then again we forget that as human as we are...In life the moments we live never come back...The moments just slip away before we could even grasp them tightly to appreciate them. Life may be a stage as stated by so many but there are no rehearsals in life. You just have one take...one shot and you have to give it your best ! In that one performance you have to live the entire story, you have to live your entire life and all the more you ought to give your best performance ever to avoid regrets and to be remembered forever in all hearts.

Life is an illusion in the sense that it does not appear the way it is...we feel it exists but when we try to reach it or control it and try to comprehend it entirely, it disappears in a instant. Life does not last forever and it is as delicate as a soap water bubble.

 We keep chasing something or the other in our thirst of wants on the vast desert of life but only to lose it in the end.Life is many things...Life is beautiful, life is charming but it still cannot be trusted. Life is a mirage...it is not real and it deceives us after all. There are conflicting theories and viewpoints on this thought as some religions like Hinduism believe in afterlife. They feel that life never ends as it lasts even after death. Some believe that there is life after death too like the Incas. In ancient times Egyptians also believed in an afterlife. Somewhere I too believe that it may hold true and that there may be a parallel world. Am I dictated by my individual thoughts or my religion in saying this ? That I shall never know...But my thought is also derived from the beliefs of people around me too and those of different cultures I have met during the course of the journey of my life...In the end lies a new beginning but that is too deep and hard to comprehend even for me who believes in many a things. To each to his own as everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and impressions depending upon their illusions.

For some the world is an illusion and for some Love is an illusion. The story goes on...and that is what makes it life as life is a place where we get no answers and to live happily ever after in the short time we have here,we have to accept it the way it is despite our urge to seek answers. At the moment just be grateful enough that you are alive, healthy and safe as nothing else matters...Just celebrate life ! A very close friend of mine from Israel always says, " Life is Beautiful ! ".

“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.”
— Michelle C. Ustaszeski

" Love as valuable as it is will lose it's fragrance without accepting the differences of two individuals in a relationship." 
                      - Simrit

Turmeric

 Ayurveda is a very important part of our daily lives in India as we apply Ayurveda in home remedies and beauty care. It is purely natural and the herbs or spices used in Ayurveda have healing qualities whether applied externally as a paste or consumed internally in a mixture or concoction. For instance there are various spices found in the kitchen that can cure headaches and colds. My favorite must have in the kitchen is Turmeric. A pinch of turmeric powder when used in cooking adds a beautiful colour to the the curries . And a pinch of turmeric when mixed with chick-pea flour and rose water or 2 tbs. yoghurt serves as a face pack as part of your beauty regime. A teaspoon of honey can be added to this face pack. Another face pack can be made with turmeric,sandalwood powder and orange peels. My grandmother would always dry the skins and peels of oranges in the sun which were crushed thereafter to make a powder for face packs. She would always send me a big box of home-made powder of orange peels. It is really interesting to prepare such things from simple things specially when they have miraculous effects on your skin and health.

A teaspoon or two of Turmeric powder boiled with about a cup of milk can provide immense relief from severe congestion,sinus or cough and cold. Of course expecting mothers should consult a doctor regarding this as this combination gives a lot of warmth to the body.

Turmeric is also always used in rituals for purification and auspicious occasions specially weddings as part of beauty care too. Turmeric paste is applied on the skin of the Bride for beauty purpose as well as purification. In Indian weddings , an event is dedicated to the usage of Turmeric and the ceremony is called  "Haldi"  which actually means Turmeric.

Love that is enduring...

Love has to be enduring in difficult and challenging times. It will then only survive till the end. A love that waits to overcome all obstacles is true love.

A love that is enduring will survive fights and disagreements. In today's stressful world there are bound to be arguments and differences of opinions on a wide range of matters.One has a right to disagree and express differently or feel differently about things as long as you do not take it too far where you start judging each other and stop communicating.

 There will be many challenges,difficulties and problems in lives and people should be willing to resolve them together with patience,tact,maturity,understanding,empathy and sensitivity. In opinion and decision making matters,there are bound to be differences but they should not allow differences of thoughts to damage a relationship. In any relationship people should to be able to express their wants and needs to each other without fear of alienating each other . At least that way they will know what is needed to enhance their relationship.

 Arguments should be fair without taunts and insults. Fighting should not involve emotional, mental and physical abuse and attacks. Disagreements can be there as long as that does not retard communication. Sooner or later a compromise and mutual understanding has to be reached. However bad and uncomfortable things become one should not stop communication. In a relationship sometimes even arguing can be considered a form of communicating your feelings . 

Respect each other's differences in thoughts. There has to be honesty and transparency in a relationship which may sometimes result in disagreeing with each other. At the end of it two people should be willing to take responsibility for their faults and mistakes too or consider the other person's view point too. The aim should be to arrive somewhere where two can meet each other half way irrespective of whose fault it may be in the first place. Sometimes this may require patience and time but that is alright as All's well that ends well.

I watched the movie "Madras Cafe" some days back and can't help but think about what is said in the beginning of the movie that innocent civilians get killed, whatever the conflict may be or between whomever it may be...I have always thought about this so many times just like so many others...Everybody has a right to live a peaceful life. I wish there was a way to prevent injustices.

The worst affected are always women and children. They pay a heavy price for no fault of theirs when there is a conflict or war. It is heartbreaking to hear how much they suffer and the way they are tortured for even not taking sides. In a conflict , both sides are unfair in attacking innocent and vulnerable people just because they happen to be on opposite sides. But life chooses it to be this way and in history and till date so many have suffered so much for no reason at all. My heart reaches out to those suffering in political conflicts and wars. War crimes are the worst and we can't even begin to imagine the crimes committed against human beings in the name of power and ideology. In political conflicts as well as riots or racial attacks, the lives of people change drastically because they are placed somewhere at the wrong time and wrong place by destiny. Nobody can actually do much to really help them or immediately prevent attacks against them because unfortunately they happen to be present at a place where human beings have lost their sense of humanity, decency and sensitivity in the name of hatred and war. In the name of war, where there is loss of humanity, there is rise of darkness in the minds and hearts of ordinary people. It seems as if at that time , the forces of darkness and evil take over the minds of human beings...

Nobody wants conflict or war but sometimes there is no other option left when one is attacked. Then the only option left is to protect and defend oneself and all that you hold dear. I wish there was world peace but that will remain to be just a dream as wars can never end in the world we live in.Yet I pray and dream for a world where peace resides... In saying that I may be labelled as a dreamer but I 'm not the only one. 

Sometimes everything comes at the same time in your life...and you wonder how to deal with them all at once and which emotions to address first. Almost all of us may be familiar with this place in our lives. At such times one needs to keep one's focus to concentrate on what is at hand and to deal with it in the best way possible. Meditation and prayers help the most at such times. It gives you certain amount of peace and strength to rely on. Sharing your problems with your friends also helps. One has no choice but to be strong enough to face these sudden uncalled interruptions in your life. No choice but to be strong ! When the Going gets Tough the Tough get Going !

Yet another news of someone going through so much of pain as they will lose their loved one very soon....Just the though of losing someone close to you in life is frightening enough and it must be all the more so very devastating for the people who get the dark news that their loved one is going to part from them soon. Life is so short ! And we still take life for granted every time thinking that everything is going to remain the same as ever and that our lives will remain untouched...Life is so unfair when it tears apart an important part of your life from you. I just heard some sad news about a friend's mother and my heart is filled with deep sadness and pain ...The family must be severely anguished to know that anytime soon, the person close to them will leave them forever...Nothing can ever prepare you to accept such a loss.

There are never any answers or closures in that respect as life may take away as is the norm but the heart will refuse to let go...The person lives in your heart even if lost to you in life. The person lives in your memories even though not there to create new memories...The biggest loss in life is the loss of human life, the loss of someone you love as you never recover from it whatever people may say. Such a loss makes you grieve silently all your life specially when you try to find the impressions of that person in every moment of your life and miss their presence. The permanent absence of someone you hold dear is the hardest loss that someone can endure and what is more difficult is to be told to continue living without that person. I have often seen how the people left behind suffer so much and my heart reaches out for them.

Yes everyone is fighting their own battles everyday in life but the toughest battle is to fight the loneliness and emptiness left behind by the person you have lost to life...Kal Ho Na Ho...There may be no tomorrow...So it is very important to keep reminding ourselves to live our life to it's fullest everyday in life...It is so required to live every moment with love and happiness and yet we often forget that and start taking life for granted. Life is so fragile ! Life is so uncertain and yet we keep making plans thinking that we will live forever when life may cheat us anytime. The best thing to do would be to live for the moment and live in the moment. Life is escaping from us every second and we should actually make the most of it  in the time we have with  each other though that will never be enough...
http://nickiworldtranscendingcultures.blogspot.in/2011/02/autumn-of-life-there-comes-time-of-pain.html

One Right

I always stand up for what I believe in and what is right even if it means standing alone...In life standing up for your rights is never easy but it is very important to embark on this Long and difficult path to enforce and protect your individual and consumer rights.We all must be aware of our rights.In exercising our rights are we truly free individuals.

Everyone has certain rights but we are usually not informed about them or do not exercise them. We have a right to be heard...and we must never forget that. There is One Right for All and None should be discriminated. One has the right to question and a right to information.

When there is a will there is a way. When you stand up for your rights and for others , somebody will listen to you sooner or later. Your voice will be heard ! But for that you have to speak out ! Silence can sometimes be mistaken as weakness or indifference. Always know your rights and request for those rights to be implemented but if they are not then demand that justice be served through proper channels.

Always stand up for your rights...

One Right

Getting things easily & b4 time

When you get something too fast or easily  and before time,it can be dangerous ...Then most of the times some lose the value of people, things and all that they stand for in terms of principles as they feel they have access to anything at anytime without paying a price in terms of money and time. Then values, morals and intelligence are lost as the person can't handle too much of success or money at once.

 One has to be mature and wise enough to differentiate between right and wrong and appreciate what you have. Also one has to have the strength to resist peer pressure.

Maturity comes with age or experience...The young generation today in every country wants quick success at a very early age without really going through the efforts and hurdles to achieve it. Anything that can give them a quick trip to money and success becomes very attractive. Well they forget that All that glitters is not gold and often the short path to anything may be deceiving. But they get misled anyway. We are living in a age where people can easily acquire just about everything instantly without having to wait for it through EMIs and loans. Credit Cards attract you to buy things right away and you start living outside your budget and daily lifestyle. But getting something so easily can prove to be dangerous as a person then starts taking things for granted and a person deviates to the wrong side of life too. At times getting something too quickly and easily can make a person get easily bored with it as well and then there are hardly any things left to dream of achieving. The beauty of dreaming about something and working hard to receive it loses it's relevance.

It is so important to monitor the younger generation tactfully and not allow them too much of financial freedom  by controlling their pocket money to some extent. Or they should be some sort of supervision to ensure that they are spending their money on the right things. These days parents give a lot of money to their children without actually teaching them how to spend it wisely . If you are giving them financial freedom at a very early age, it is necessary to teach them the value of money as well. It is often said that the long and difficult path is usually the right one to choose. Sometimes the long wait to attain something teaches kids the real value of what they have. It teaches them to be patient. Everything is earned in life be it money, respect or love. They have to be worthy of receiving it...Kids have to be worthy of receiving financial freedom from their parents at an early age by demonstrating that they can be trusted to utilize that freedom correctly.

"Should never give up your true identity and roots. Culture and Tradition are the robes that clothe a person's identity."

                                               -Simrit

Cultural Sensitivity/ Cultural Awareness & Religious Tolerance

Cultural awareness and Cultural sensitivity between different faiths is important. Lack of understanding and lack of respect for each other's faiths and cultures can cause tensions and riots. Major cause is intolerance...There is no sense in education if we can't teach our children to be culturally and religiously tolerant. It is alright to co-exist with differences in faith and religion.The rising racial attacks everywhere calls for concern and it stems purely out of lack tolerance and biased attitude.Lack of mutual respect of each other's way of life and thought process divides people.

Perhaps lack of employment is the source of it too as people tend to get exploited then as they lose focus and direction in life. Ideal mind is a Devil's workshop as the saying goes...The deprivation of proper knowledge also may be the root cause. Some people fear what they do not understand and they attack it to feel less intimidated... I feel there should be Cultural Acceptance and people should not react harshly to Cultural Differences and Cultural Shocks. According to me, if your good values and education are strong, you cannot really deviate from it and you will not cause harm to others and will not attack each other in the name of hatred and religious intolerance. There are ways to deal with differences by getting to know each other to enhance your knowledge.  This is a never ending discussion but all I can say like always is that it is up to us what we teach our children as responsible adults.

The teachers have to take  responsibility in creating cultural awareness and respect for differences in faiths amongst children and parents have to support teachers. Whatever the students are taught at schools will only have deep impact when it is followed at home as well. In Mie as a JET Programme Teacher my task was to create cultural awareness besides teaching English. At times it was challenging but in the end I always managed to awaken cultural sensitivity amongst the community there specially by adapting myself to their culture as well. You have to practice what you preach...I am confident that my students would grow to become responsible and culturally aware adults. I am sure that they will demonstrate cultural sensitivity and empathy and will adapt easily to the differences in people and foreign cultures.

In the International School in Tokyo (JIS and now AJIS) we were taught to be culturally tolerant. If some students were not culturally sensitive, some others including me would try to motivate them to be tolerant. "Empathy" was one of the subjects taught at school then on Saturdays. In India we have a subject called " Moral Science" in Convent Schools which too helps students to take the positive path in life. In fact our mythological stories and epics also stress on good values and morals if understood correctly and interpreted accurately.

As it is, whatever some may think India is basically religiously tolerant as various cultures,traditions and faiths mingle and live together despite their differences. We believe that there is Unity in Diversity. We colour ourselves in each other's sentiments and faiths like our Festival of Colours (Holi) denotes..We celebrate and respect all festivals or take part in each other's festivities. It is alright to follow your Faith with sincerity and completely as long as you respect the Faith of others as well. One has a right to defend and protect oneself and One's identity but it is not required to threaten the faith of others to preserve and promote your faith as that only reveals your own insecurity. The initiation of any kind of hate crimes should not be tolerated anywhere and we should condemn it. We should honour each other's cultures. We may not be able to get the entire world to cure itself from the everlasting illness of religious intolerance and hatred as well as racial discrimination but we could take the first step in making visible attempts to eradicate it...starting from home. We have to bridge the psychological distance between Individuals, Communities and Nations.

Different Strokes- WE ARE THE WORLD

However much you may love someone, do not let them break your self-esteem, lower your self respect,take you for granted or impose rigid ultimatums on you. Do not let them walk all over you or convince you to believe things about you that you are not.

All have imperfections, weaknesses and have outbursts at sometime or another as we all are human. If someone constantly puts you down by telling you that you are the only one who is quick to lose temper or you snap out easily, tell them that they do so too as these reactions are situation based at times. Of course it is not good to lose temper easily or be totally out of control but sometimes it is natural as the other person may be provoking you beyond your limits and your retaliation to it at the time is just a temporary strong reaction. As it is the other person may be bringing out the worst in you. In the world of Body Language this is called " Mirrroring " . The term refers to a behaviour where you imitate another person in gestures, expressions, words and attitude without being aware of it while interacting with that person. You behave the way a person behaves with you. Some bring out the best in you every time and inspire as well as motivate you. While there are others who bring out the worst side in you. It is important to trust and understand the other person in a relationship if you want it to be reciprocated. Then only will two people feel a mutual connection. In any case one must maintain one's dignity and try hard not to make it a habit to react strongly and harshly so easily just because the other person is behaving badly.

But a relationship or love that cannot overcome obstacles of repeated insults,misunderstandings, threats, ultimatums, blackmails, scenes and fights is really not a relationship or love anymore....A relationship may start out as a love story but over the years it may either blossom or turn bitter. One has to continuously work at a relationship and not take each other for granted. Where there is no mutual respect or trust, the love dies...

There are various reasons two people are together- some because of continuous love and respect, some because of the love they once shared or some living on the hope that some day the same love they once shared will re-visit them and some stay together as a compromise for the kids. Whatever the reason, the journey of love or the journey of a lifetime together should be mostly pleasant. You cannot base a relationship on the love  it once originated from even though now it may be lost...You cannot just sit and hope it will get better. You cannot base a relationship on a fake love that you feel actually exists as that is not healthy because you may be in a state of denial...Most important you cannot base a relationship on a one sided love...

Both partners have to meet each other half way without any demands and conditions. Both have to be flexible, sensitive and adaptable to each other.  Both have to give their best in terms of love, acceptance and sensitivity. The connection would be strong and there would be contentment if both make visible attempts in adapting well to each other. Love is not a mere word, it is a feeling best expressed through actions even in silence.

" Give the best in terms of warmth,love,acceptance and sensitivity...By adapting well to a person or  a culture that person or culture will embrace you too...That is the first step to a proper connection. "
                                                               -Simrit