Lakshya

Everyone has some "lakshya" in life...an aim,goal or target in life. Never forget that even when life derails you, the dream of obtaining your aim will only make you thrive in the most challenging circumstances and will help maintain focus. The more determined you are the closer you would reach your Lakshya.

 If you do not have an aim in life then your lakshya itself will find you soon enough or maybe sometimes later in life. Destiny has an odd way of uniting us with what we are meant to do. Life shapes us in a way where eventually our lakshya will greet us. It may not be something you planned on having or wanted but you have to fulfill your destiny by fulfilling that aim or purpose you are given by fate. Stay true to your lakshya and you will be rewarded and it will definitely be fulfilling.

Many times when I am faced with situations that make me temporarily lose my focus, I watch Farhan Akhtar's " Lakshya" . It is a very well directed movie and deeply inspiring. It is basically a story of a carefree guy who does not know what his aim in life is and it takes him long to find what he is searching for. His family and friends don't seem to understand him as they feel that he lacks purpose in life. He eventually meets his Lakshya. In his case he finally realizes that he wants to protect his nation and he remains true to this thought because he finds that this is what he truly wants to do.

This movie never ceases to inspire me and makes one feel that with faith,confidence,belief,patience and discipline anyone can reach their Lakshya. The only distance between your lakshya and you is You. It is left to you to decide how soon you are willing to meet your aim in life. The power lies within you ! 

What is Life...?

What is Life...?

It is so tragic that nobody is untouched by the pain of the terrible loss of a loved one in life...The year has ended so sadly as received one devastating news after the other of the deep losses of people in our circle.

I feel it is so important to be thankful in life for the moments you are given. It is so important to appreciate each and every moment but we still keep getting lost in our daily and irrelevant battles. It is so important to cherish each moment in life.

Once in a while we pause to consider how short life is but then again we forget that as human as we are...In life the moments we live never come back...The moments just slip away before we could even grasp them tightly to appreciate them. Life may be a stage as stated by so many but there are no rehearsals in life. You just have one take...one shot and you have to give it your best ! In that one performance you have to live the entire story, you have to live your entire life and all the more you ought to give your best performance ever to avoid regrets and to be remembered forever in all hearts.

Life is an illusion in the sense that it does not appear the way it is...we feel it exists but when we try to reach it or control it and try to comprehend it entirely, it disappears in a instant. Life does not last forever and it is as delicate as a soap water bubble.

 We keep chasing something or the other in our thirst of wants on the vast desert of life but only to lose it in the end.Life is many things...Life is beautiful, life is charming but it still cannot be trusted. Life is a mirage...it is not real and it deceives us after all. There are conflicting theories and viewpoints on this thought as some religions like Hinduism believe in afterlife. They feel that life never ends as it lasts even after death. Some believe that there is life after death too like the Incas. In ancient times Egyptians also believed in an afterlife. Somewhere I too believe that it may hold true and that there may be a parallel world. Am I dictated by my individual thoughts or my religion in saying this ? That I shall never know...But my thought is also derived from the beliefs of people around me too and those of different cultures I have met during the course of the journey of my life...In the end lies a new beginning but that is too deep and hard to comprehend even for me who believes in many a things. To each to his own as everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and impressions depending upon their illusions.

For some the world is an illusion and for some Love is an illusion. The story goes on...and that is what makes it life as life is a place where we get no answers and to live happily ever after in the short time we have here,we have to accept it the way it is despite our urge to seek answers. At the moment just be grateful enough that you are alive, healthy and safe as nothing else matters...Just celebrate life ! A very close friend of mine from Israel always says, " Life is Beautiful ! ".

“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.”
— Michelle C. Ustaszeski

" Love as valuable as it is will lose it's fragrance without accepting the differences of two individuals in a relationship." 
                      - Simrit

Turmeric

 Ayurveda is a very important part of our daily lives in India as we apply Ayurveda in home remedies and beauty care. It is purely natural and the herbs or spices used in Ayurveda have healing qualities whether applied externally as a paste or consumed internally in a mixture or concoction. For instance there are various spices found in the kitchen that can cure headaches and colds. My favorite must have in the kitchen is Turmeric. A pinch of turmeric powder when used in cooking adds a beautiful colour to the the curries . And a pinch of turmeric when mixed with chick-pea flour and rose water or 2 tbs. yoghurt serves as a face pack as part of your beauty regime. A teaspoon of honey can be added to this face pack. Another face pack can be made with turmeric,sandalwood powder and orange peels. My grandmother would always dry the skins and peels of oranges in the sun which were crushed thereafter to make a powder for face packs. She would always send me a big box of home-made powder of orange peels. It is really interesting to prepare such things from simple things specially when they have miraculous effects on your skin and health.

A teaspoon or two of Turmeric powder boiled with about a cup of milk can provide immense relief from severe congestion,sinus or cough and cold. Of course expecting mothers should consult a doctor regarding this as this combination gives a lot of warmth to the body.

Turmeric is also always used in rituals for purification and auspicious occasions specially weddings as part of beauty care too. Turmeric paste is applied on the skin of the Bride for beauty purpose as well as purification. In Indian weddings , an event is dedicated to the usage of Turmeric and the ceremony is called  "Haldi"  which actually means Turmeric.

Love that is enduring...

Love has to be enduring in difficult and challenging times. It will then only survive till the end. A love that waits to overcome all obstacles is true love.

A love that is enduring will survive fights and disagreements. In today's stressful world there are bound to be arguments and differences of opinions on a wide range of matters.One has a right to disagree and express differently or feel differently about things as long as you do not take it too far where you start judging each other and stop communicating.

 There will be many challenges,difficulties and problems in lives and people should be willing to resolve them together with patience,tact,maturity,understanding,empathy and sensitivity. In opinion and decision making matters,there are bound to be differences but they should not allow differences of thoughts to damage a relationship. In any relationship people should to be able to express their wants and needs to each other without fear of alienating each other . At least that way they will know what is needed to enhance their relationship.

 Arguments should be fair without taunts and insults. Fighting should not involve emotional, mental and physical abuse and attacks. Disagreements can be there as long as that does not retard communication. Sooner or later a compromise and mutual understanding has to be reached. However bad and uncomfortable things become one should not stop communication. In a relationship sometimes even arguing can be considered a form of communicating your feelings . 

Respect each other's differences in thoughts. There has to be honesty and transparency in a relationship which may sometimes result in disagreeing with each other. At the end of it two people should be willing to take responsibility for their faults and mistakes too or consider the other person's view point too. The aim should be to arrive somewhere where two can meet each other half way irrespective of whose fault it may be in the first place. Sometimes this may require patience and time but that is alright as All's well that ends well.

I watched the movie "Madras Cafe" some days back and can't help but think about what is said in the beginning of the movie that innocent civilians get killed, whatever the conflict may be or between whomever it may be...I have always thought about this so many times just like so many others...Everybody has a right to live a peaceful life. I wish there was a way to prevent injustices.

The worst affected are always women and children. They pay a heavy price for no fault of theirs when there is a conflict or war. It is heartbreaking to hear how much they suffer and the way they are tortured for even not taking sides. In a conflict , both sides are unfair in attacking innocent and vulnerable people just because they happen to be on opposite sides. But life chooses it to be this way and in history and till date so many have suffered so much for no reason at all. My heart reaches out to those suffering in political conflicts and wars. War crimes are the worst and we can't even begin to imagine the crimes committed against human beings in the name of power and ideology. In political conflicts as well as riots or racial attacks, the lives of people change drastically because they are placed somewhere at the wrong time and wrong place by destiny. Nobody can actually do much to really help them or immediately prevent attacks against them because unfortunately they happen to be present at a place where human beings have lost their sense of humanity, decency and sensitivity in the name of hatred and war. In the name of war, where there is loss of humanity, there is rise of darkness in the minds and hearts of ordinary people. It seems as if at that time , the forces of darkness and evil take over the minds of human beings...

Nobody wants conflict or war but sometimes there is no other option left when one is attacked. Then the only option left is to protect and defend oneself and all that you hold dear. I wish there was world peace but that will remain to be just a dream as wars can never end in the world we live in.Yet I pray and dream for a world where peace resides... In saying that I may be labelled as a dreamer but I 'm not the only one. 

Sometimes everything comes at the same time in your life...and you wonder how to deal with them all at once and which emotions to address first. Almost all of us may be familiar with this place in our lives. At such times one needs to keep one's focus to concentrate on what is at hand and to deal with it in the best way possible. Meditation and prayers help the most at such times. It gives you certain amount of peace and strength to rely on. Sharing your problems with your friends also helps. One has no choice but to be strong enough to face these sudden uncalled interruptions in your life. No choice but to be strong ! When the Going gets Tough the Tough get Going !

Yet another news of someone going through so much of pain as they will lose their loved one very soon....Just the though of losing someone close to you in life is frightening enough and it must be all the more so very devastating for the people who get the dark news that their loved one is going to part from them soon. Life is so short ! And we still take life for granted every time thinking that everything is going to remain the same as ever and that our lives will remain untouched...Life is so unfair when it tears apart an important part of your life from you. I just heard some sad news about a friend's mother and my heart is filled with deep sadness and pain ...The family must be severely anguished to know that anytime soon, the person close to them will leave them forever...Nothing can ever prepare you to accept such a loss.

There are never any answers or closures in that respect as life may take away as is the norm but the heart will refuse to let go...The person lives in your heart even if lost to you in life. The person lives in your memories even though not there to create new memories...The biggest loss in life is the loss of human life, the loss of someone you love as you never recover from it whatever people may say. Such a loss makes you grieve silently all your life specially when you try to find the impressions of that person in every moment of your life and miss their presence. The permanent absence of someone you hold dear is the hardest loss that someone can endure and what is more difficult is to be told to continue living without that person. I have often seen how the people left behind suffer so much and my heart reaches out for them.

Yes everyone is fighting their own battles everyday in life but the toughest battle is to fight the loneliness and emptiness left behind by the person you have lost to life...Kal Ho Na Ho...There may be no tomorrow...So it is very important to keep reminding ourselves to live our life to it's fullest everyday in life...It is so required to live every moment with love and happiness and yet we often forget that and start taking life for granted. Life is so fragile ! Life is so uncertain and yet we keep making plans thinking that we will live forever when life may cheat us anytime. The best thing to do would be to live for the moment and live in the moment. Life is escaping from us every second and we should actually make the most of it  in the time we have with  each other though that will never be enough...
http://nickiworldtranscendingcultures.blogspot.in/2011/02/autumn-of-life-there-comes-time-of-pain.html

One Right

I always stand up for what I believe in and what is right even if it means standing alone...In life standing up for your rights is never easy but it is very important to embark on this Long and difficult path to enforce and protect your individual and consumer rights.We all must be aware of our rights.In exercising our rights are we truly free individuals.

Everyone has certain rights but we are usually not informed about them or do not exercise them. We have a right to be heard...and we must never forget that. There is One Right for All and None should be discriminated. One has the right to question and a right to information.

When there is a will there is a way. When you stand up for your rights and for others , somebody will listen to you sooner or later. Your voice will be heard ! But for that you have to speak out ! Silence can sometimes be mistaken as weakness or indifference. Always know your rights and request for those rights to be implemented but if they are not then demand that justice be served through proper channels.

Always stand up for your rights...

One Right

Getting things easily & b4 time

When you get something too fast or easily  and before time,it can be dangerous ...Then most of the times some lose the value of people, things and all that they stand for in terms of principles as they feel they have access to anything at anytime without paying a price in terms of money and time. Then values, morals and intelligence are lost as the person can't handle too much of success or money at once.

 One has to be mature and wise enough to differentiate between right and wrong and appreciate what you have. Also one has to have the strength to resist peer pressure.

Maturity comes with age or experience...The young generation today in every country wants quick success at a very early age without really going through the efforts and hurdles to achieve it. Anything that can give them a quick trip to money and success becomes very attractive. Well they forget that All that glitters is not gold and often the short path to anything may be deceiving. But they get misled anyway. We are living in a age where people can easily acquire just about everything instantly without having to wait for it through EMIs and loans. Credit Cards attract you to buy things right away and you start living outside your budget and daily lifestyle. But getting something so easily can prove to be dangerous as a person then starts taking things for granted and a person deviates to the wrong side of life too. At times getting something too quickly and easily can make a person get easily bored with it as well and then there are hardly any things left to dream of achieving. The beauty of dreaming about something and working hard to receive it loses it's relevance.

It is so important to monitor the younger generation tactfully and not allow them too much of financial freedom  by controlling their pocket money to some extent. Or they should be some sort of supervision to ensure that they are spending their money on the right things. These days parents give a lot of money to their children without actually teaching them how to spend it wisely . If you are giving them financial freedom at a very early age, it is necessary to teach them the value of money as well. It is often said that the long and difficult path is usually the right one to choose. Sometimes the long wait to attain something teaches kids the real value of what they have. It teaches them to be patient. Everything is earned in life be it money, respect or love. They have to be worthy of receiving it...Kids have to be worthy of receiving financial freedom from their parents at an early age by demonstrating that they can be trusted to utilize that freedom correctly.

"Should never give up your true identity and roots. Culture and Tradition are the robes that clothe a person's identity."

                                               -Simrit

Cultural Sensitivity/ Cultural Awareness & Religious Tolerance

Cultural awareness and Cultural sensitivity between different faiths is important. Lack of understanding and lack of respect for each other's faiths and cultures can cause tensions and riots. Major cause is intolerance...There is no sense in education if we can't teach our children to be culturally and religiously tolerant. It is alright to co-exist with differences in faith and religion.The rising racial attacks everywhere calls for concern and it stems purely out of lack tolerance and biased attitude.Lack of mutual respect of each other's way of life and thought process divides people.

Perhaps lack of employment is the source of it too as people tend to get exploited then as they lose focus and direction in life. Ideal mind is a Devil's workshop as the saying goes...The deprivation of proper knowledge also may be the root cause. Some people fear what they do not understand and they attack it to feel less intimidated... I feel there should be Cultural Acceptance and people should not react harshly to Cultural Differences and Cultural Shocks. According to me, if your good values and education are strong, you cannot really deviate from it and you will not cause harm to others and will not attack each other in the name of hatred and religious intolerance. There are ways to deal with differences by getting to know each other to enhance your knowledge.  This is a never ending discussion but all I can say like always is that it is up to us what we teach our children as responsible adults.

The teachers have to take  responsibility in creating cultural awareness and respect for differences in faiths amongst children and parents have to support teachers. Whatever the students are taught at schools will only have deep impact when it is followed at home as well. In Mie as a JET Programme Teacher my task was to create cultural awareness besides teaching English. At times it was challenging but in the end I always managed to awaken cultural sensitivity amongst the community there specially by adapting myself to their culture as well. You have to practice what you preach...I am confident that my students would grow to become responsible and culturally aware adults. I am sure that they will demonstrate cultural sensitivity and empathy and will adapt easily to the differences in people and foreign cultures.

In the International School in Tokyo (JIS and now AJIS) we were taught to be culturally tolerant. If some students were not culturally sensitive, some others including me would try to motivate them to be tolerant. "Empathy" was one of the subjects taught at school then on Saturdays. In India we have a subject called " Moral Science" in Convent Schools which too helps students to take the positive path in life. In fact our mythological stories and epics also stress on good values and morals if understood correctly and interpreted accurately.

As it is, whatever some may think India is basically religiously tolerant as various cultures,traditions and faiths mingle and live together despite their differences. We believe that there is Unity in Diversity. We colour ourselves in each other's sentiments and faiths like our Festival of Colours (Holi) denotes..We celebrate and respect all festivals or take part in each other's festivities. It is alright to follow your Faith with sincerity and completely as long as you respect the Faith of others as well. One has a right to defend and protect oneself and One's identity but it is not required to threaten the faith of others to preserve and promote your faith as that only reveals your own insecurity. The initiation of any kind of hate crimes should not be tolerated anywhere and we should condemn it. We should honour each other's cultures. We may not be able to get the entire world to cure itself from the everlasting illness of religious intolerance and hatred as well as racial discrimination but we could take the first step in making visible attempts to eradicate it...starting from home. We have to bridge the psychological distance between Individuals, Communities and Nations.

Different Strokes- WE ARE THE WORLD

However much you may love someone, do not let them break your self-esteem, lower your self respect,take you for granted or impose rigid ultimatums on you. Do not let them walk all over you or convince you to believe things about you that you are not.

All have imperfections, weaknesses and have outbursts at sometime or another as we all are human. If someone constantly puts you down by telling you that you are the only one who is quick to lose temper or you snap out easily, tell them that they do so too as these reactions are situation based at times. Of course it is not good to lose temper easily or be totally out of control but sometimes it is natural as the other person may be provoking you beyond your limits and your retaliation to it at the time is just a temporary strong reaction. As it is the other person may be bringing out the worst in you. In the world of Body Language this is called " Mirrroring " . The term refers to a behaviour where you imitate another person in gestures, expressions, words and attitude without being aware of it while interacting with that person. You behave the way a person behaves with you. Some bring out the best in you every time and inspire as well as motivate you. While there are others who bring out the worst side in you. It is important to trust and understand the other person in a relationship if you want it to be reciprocated. Then only will two people feel a mutual connection. In any case one must maintain one's dignity and try hard not to make it a habit to react strongly and harshly so easily just because the other person is behaving badly.

But a relationship or love that cannot overcome obstacles of repeated insults,misunderstandings, threats, ultimatums, blackmails, scenes and fights is really not a relationship or love anymore....A relationship may start out as a love story but over the years it may either blossom or turn bitter. One has to continuously work at a relationship and not take each other for granted. Where there is no mutual respect or trust, the love dies...

There are various reasons two people are together- some because of continuous love and respect, some because of the love they once shared or some living on the hope that some day the same love they once shared will re-visit them and some stay together as a compromise for the kids. Whatever the reason, the journey of love or the journey of a lifetime together should be mostly pleasant. You cannot base a relationship on the love  it once originated from even though now it may be lost...You cannot just sit and hope it will get better. You cannot base a relationship on a fake love that you feel actually exists as that is not healthy because you may be in a state of denial...Most important you cannot base a relationship on a one sided love...

Both partners have to meet each other half way without any demands and conditions. Both have to be flexible, sensitive and adaptable to each other.  Both have to give their best in terms of love, acceptance and sensitivity. The connection would be strong and there would be contentment if both make visible attempts in adapting well to each other. Love is not a mere word, it is a feeling best expressed through actions even in silence.

" Give the best in terms of warmth,love,acceptance and sensitivity...By adapting well to a person or  a culture that person or culture will embrace you too...That is the first step to a proper connection. "
                                                               -Simrit

Ornaments of an Indian Bride

Kaleeras of a North-Indian Bride

Kaleeras are worn by a North Indian bride. The dome shaped bells or ornaments are very important for a bride....Kaleeras are tied on bangles of the bride by her sisters and friends to wish her luck in her new life ahead. The kaleeras also represent the number of close female friends and sisters of the bride. They are made of silver, metal or rosewood. They come in various designs...They are worn on both wrists.

Kaleeras are what a bridal bouquet is to a Christian bride. A bride hits kaleeras against each other over the heads of unmarried girls to shower them with blessings and the kaleeras that fall on a girl's head means that she will get married next...These beautiful kaleeras were chosen by my mother for her niece and they are made with velvet and beads too. The bride has designs made on her hands with Mehndi ( Henna ) on her hands as well...

" If you try hard enough, you can achieve just about anything though patience,discipline,strength of mind and faith are required. Never give up even in the  most trying time as your time will also arrive someday..."
                                                                                       -Simrit

Traditional Japanese Dolls

While living in Mie- ken I learnt more about Traditional Japanese Dolls. We have a collection of traditional Japanese dolls at our home. They were presented to us by a close friend and ex- Defencare Attaché of Japan to India in the 80s. But I got an opportunity to study about them when I was teaching in Mie. Most of my seniors there knew the art of making traditional dolls. It was an honour to receive their hand made dolls as gifts. I possess Ichimatsu and Kimekomi dolls...As a child in Tokyo, some of my friends also made paper dolls for me which again is an art form by itself. Kimekomi dolls date back to Edo period and to put it simply are made of cloth and wood. Ki means tree/ wood and mekomi refers to the technique of the tucking of the fabric...Traditional Japanese dolls represent children,warriors and ladies in kimono...They are used in the Dolls Festival- Hina Matsuri and as gifts to friends and family. Ichimatsu dolls represent little boys and girls.They were presented by Japan to the United States  in the Friendship Doll Exchange in the 1920s. I will share the picture of these dolls another time...

Traditional Japanese Dolls Handmade by a friend Ezaki San  in Mie-ken

                                              FAITH

Every person, country or religion follows faith...Faith is important. However different our cultures may be or whatever religion we may follow, faith lives in most of us. It unites people and brings them together .

One can have immense faith in God or a person. It is essential to have faith in something to give life more purpose and meaning. Faith can be placed in a person, place or thing...We visit places of worship because we have faith that we can find peace there and feel the divine presence of God around us. Sometimes we worship some person because we love that person the same way we love God i.e. without conditions. Faith is in fact born from love to start with and it continues to grow strong in time with trust...

Usually Faith is at it's strongest when we receive and feel we are not let down by God or a person and the same Faith is fragile in storms of anger or betrayal. But faith in anything ought to be unconditional...

Faith resides where there is trust ...Trust and honesty attract faith in a relationship and are the two strong pillars of any relationship. When faith is lost in God or a person,everything is lost. Then a sense of direction is lost. Lack of faith can prove to be quite destructive as then we have nothing to turn to in life or get strength from in trying and difficult times. Prayer offered to the Gods in different faiths or faith in a person give us immense strength. In faith do we learn to bow our heads before God or a person we love and respect. 

I feel that no matter how long it takes or how hard it may be, there comes a time when it becomes absolutely necessary to restore one's faith in a person you love or any God you worship to maintain peace and contentment in life. Basically life is simple when we can unconditionally hold our faith in life's decisions and changes however opposed we may be to it to start with. Faith however misplaced it may be at times because of unfulfilled expectations or circumstances has to win in the end. Faith brings hope...

In silence do we find truth about love....?

Sometimes a beautiful relationship may be torn forever...It may be damaged because of repeated doubts,mistrust,disappointments and conflicts but the hearts of two people may silently desire to want to mend the beautiful fabric of the relationship which was once embroidered with love,trust,respect and understanding.

Sometimes a couple may feel that everything has ended in their relationship  but their hearts continue to feel for each other greatly...Their hearts don't cease to believe in each other somewhere and they end up waiting for each other at all times as their powerful connection does not die even in adversity. And that endless wait for each other without expression of words can divide them further forever as most of the time lack of communication and absence of accurate interpretation can harm a relationship severely specially if they are not well -versed in reading silence.

In the face of obstacles of doubts and fears, they may not be able to express clearly but their hearts want to say so much...At such times one needs to be able to read in between the silence...As difficult as it may be two people should be able to feel the love they have for each other and not seek it entirely in words and actions. Love can sometimes be silent but it still exists anyway in every way possible and it's intensity has to be felt some way or the other...But the subject of silence cannot be translated by everyone.

Not always can people comprehend the language of silence. All the more such people should try hard not to allow the desert of silence enter their relationship which creates this endless distance between them or they will be lost to each other forever. In silence we may find love but it is hidden from many who cannot unveil it every time...

Life may surprise you most of the times. Some of us love surprises as long as they are pleasant ones while some of us don't want any surprises at all. But obviously in life we have no choice in the matter .

We  always hope to be pleasantly surprised but sometimes life offers us unpleasant surprises. Unpleasant surprises are unwanted as we are caught off balance and we don't know how to deal with them. But time helps us to find the hidden strength in us to meet the challenges and cope with the unpleasantness. When there is no way out the only way we know then is to find a way to battle the unpleasant circumstances and come out of it somehow...It may take long but we manage to survive many bitter moments and this is a sign of living. Life forces and teaches us how to survive as long as we are breathing...

We often may possess reserves of inner strength and courage and we may not be aware of it till time makes it's move. In problems and in crisis do we come in contact with our true self. In the most difficult times, gradually time prepares us to finally accept things the way they are even if we keep resisting or expressing opposition to the turn of events and bad circumstances.I have always noticed that when the storm of shock,denial and tears have passed, then comes acceptance...That is how nature tunes us I guess. There will be times when your heart will be heavy with pain and bitterness about how life may have treated you, yet somewhere with it comes acceptance of those events too. In time we learn to accept things we cannot change...

The best known first two verses of  Serenity Prayer state- " God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can and the
Wisdom to know the difference. "